Well, Now You've Won, But I Gave You All
by amazingluv
Summary: Clint Barton is a Superhero. Clint Barton is the World's Greatest Archer. Clint Barton is also a bastard. All these things Clint knew. But it was what Clint didn't know that would turn out to be most life changing. It was what he didn't know that would over shadow everything else he was. Surprise!
1. Out of Milk

**So this is my first story. I definitely don't mind criticisms, in all actuality I would love feed back! This will be a chapter story, so the beginning might start a bit slow and short but there will be more. Thank you for reading! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Avengers. I do own the storyline and the original characters in it (though the characters come later)**

**OUT OF MILK **

In hindsight it was stupid really. Boy does/says something stupid, girl in turn does something equally stupid and then all of the sudden its crystal clear how absolutely dumb they are being and said boy and girl figure it out and fix it. Girl was not supposed to just up and leave, just a letter on the kitchen table all that was left to prove that she had been there in the beginning.

Then again, he figured what he did could be considered a lot more then just dumb. She had warned him of the very few things that she wouldn't be able to get over. Well, more like one big thing, don't break her trust.

Now her trust was pretty hard to break. When she decided to love and let some one in fully it would take the world turning upside down to break it. If he were being serious with himself he would have been able to admit that it would really take only one thing for it to crumble beyond the point of repair.

Clint understood that from the start. Shit, he understood that before anything even started. Yet he had to do it, had to just go for that sweet spot.

Clint didn't think he broke his ribs this past mission. But he had to because all of the sudden he couldn't take a breath with out the feeling of his whole chest caving in on him.

He had crumpled up the paper unknowingly and with the next thought that entered his brain he smoothed out the tear stained lines. What was he suppose to do now?

He re-read the paper even though he had already memorized what it said. Photographic memory be damned he was sure he misread something. Hopefully the whole thing.

This could not be a letter telling him that she was gone. That she had finally found something she couldn't handle when it came to him, when it came to them. No, it was a letter telling him they are out of milk and she is sorry she missed him walking out the door.

That had to be it, had to be it.

They weren't out of milk. She wasn't sorry she missed him walking through the door.

He hadn't read the letter wrong.

She was gone and wasn't it just a-fucking-mazing that it wasn't until she left that he realized how absolutely screwed up he had been. How it wasn't until now, that he realized how much he relied on her being there when he finally decided to come back.

When he finally realized that surviving without her was easy, but living with out her was impossible. Well wasn't he just a walking goddamn country song.

He looked up around his apartment eyes taking in the emptiness of it all. The D.V.D rack had some bare spots, the wall was spotted where pictures had hung, and throw pillows on the couch had disappeared. He quietly headed to the bathroom taking in the almost empty medicine cabinet and the plain white shower curtain. Slowly walking through his small downtown apartment his eyes grew dimmer as he cataloged all that was missing, leaving their, fuck, _his_ room last.

"Fuck" he breathed out. The bed was neatly made with dark purple sheets; pillows that were obviously new covered the left side of the bed. Covered the spot she had always claimed. The closet door was opened, his shoes spread out neatly on its floor, his clothes still coordinated by color and facing the same way. An O.C.D habit she had picked up in her childhood; the only evidence that she was even here. Not even the smell of her lingered, it was if she just erased her presence.

His breath wasn't coming out right again; he could feel his chest constricting. Falling back against the wall his head fall forward to meet his knees as he folded in on himself. His hands clenching at air as the paper fell to the floor between his feet. Eyes dry and head pounding he sat deadly still as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

It was a day later the rest of the team found him. Wanting to know if he was willing to watch Good Will Hunting for the teams movie night the rest of the Avengers filed in loudly to their, fuck, _his_ room. All it took was one look, and they stopped in one fluid motion. It would have been funny; if Clint could remember what funny was.

For not having moved a finger that night his body was able to move surprisingly quick. Sniper training hauntingly effective in his smooth movements as he quickly darted between them to pull open a ceiling vent. Disappearing before they could even blink. No pins and needles for Hawkeye, he was indestructible, or at least he _was_.

A piece of paper crumpled against Tony's foot as he moved to pick it up. Tear stained words, dark against the white background. Her signature was small; it seemed that even her own handwriting was drawn in and about to collapse.

Tony scanned the paper, handing it over to the men and woman beside him without a word and walking out. Simultaneously trying to guess where Barton had disappeared off to and asking Jarvis how long it would take him to find the missing person.

The Widow glanced up at the ceiling almost willing the man into being. She knew she couldn't go after him. As much as he wouldn't blame her, she knew he wouldn't be able to stand her either. Her sigh echoed in the dark room, walking silently she followed Tony.

Steve, Thor, and Bruce traded glances. They didn't read the letter. Instead they chose to just follow their teammates. They didn't have to read what was written. They just needed to see their teammates reaction to know what it meant.

Knowing that once he came down, or was found, whichever came first, he would need them. As much as they knew he had messed up, they also knew that family isn't only there for the good times. That's what makes them family. Besides nothing was ever truly broken, especially when it came to Barton and her. A relationship like their's was obviously end game. They needed each other.

Yeah people do amazingly stupid stuff. Okay life is a bitch sometimes but even fate couldn't be this cruel.

This cold.

Except there was piece of paper was left on the floor, crumpled, tear stained, and torn at a corner.

Words that even in heartbreak never turned vicious, instead wishing the reader a happy rest of his life. It was those simple words that really made things echo out. Words that conveyed a certain type of distance because at least mean words hinted at a passion still there. Yet these words as sad as they were, just showed how cut off the writer felt, how finished.

Yeah she was done and as Barton lay in the air vent, darkness surrounding him, he slowly realized that the thing beating in his chest was only a muscle.

His heart had just left him and breathing would never come as easy as it did again.


	2. A Total of Four Days, Three Hours, and

**This is the woman's side of the story. The next chapter will be set sometime in the future but I thought it would help to set up a bit of a back round of how things broke down. Again comments are welcome! Thanks for the views! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers but I do own the others and the story line :)**

**A TOTAL OF FOUR DAYS, THREE HOURS, AND SIX MINUTES**

She couldn't understand how it happened. What she did that made it all fall apart. What terrible thing was hidden in her past that made fate screw with her future so thoroughly? She knew life was hard, knew reality was tough, but some how the thought that it could be this, cruel, never came to her.

She had heard the whispers. A few brave souls had even tried to confront her about it, only to get the verbal lashing of their lives. She hadn't meant to turn a blind eye to the situation and maybe it was because of the doubters that she had taken so long to see it. Pride always comes before the fall.

To bad pride wasn't the only thing that kept her in denial.

She truly loved him. Body, mind, soul, they were all there for the taking, and take he did. He had devoured her in a way that can only happen if the other is truly and purely in love. She knew he had reservation, knew it would be a hard road yet she was willing to go the distance. She was willing to stand by him no matter what.

She could maybe, maybe, understand why it started. She loved him and only him. She wanted nothing but his heart in return and he had never truly had that to begin with. His past had littered it with potholes, tears, stabs and some parts of it were even blown completely away. Relationships were hard enough for him but one that was so tangled in emotion? Of course he would run for the hills.

Their's wasn't an easy relationship. Bumps, detours, traffic jams, it was all there but they both were on the same page. She seemed to know when to push and when to back off. He seemed to know when to hold her and when to just walk away. She thought he might have started love her to. Though his focus was legendary, they didn't call him Hawkeye for nothing, she knew she couldn't be the center of his world all of the time. He was a superhero after all.

She thought that maybe, instead of being the focus of his, they could just build a world of their own.

She thought wrong.

For the last two months he had been on a deep undercover mission. She had to hear it from a coworker that he came home.

Two days ago.

Apparently he had walked right out of debriefing and into some one else's arms. A someone with fiery red hair and a love of pointy objects. The fact that he had only seen her maybe five times in three weeks before his mission bounced around her head.

She smiled politely at the coworker and walked away, her footsteps light as she knocked on boss's door. Not even ten minutes later she exited, her face held no sign's of betrayal, as most would assume, instead she smiled and grabbed her purse on her way out. Making her way up to the Avenger's private floors. Hoping her heart wasn't about to get smashed.

Her heart didn't get smashed; it was turned into dust.

She was rounding the corner when familiar voices reached her ears. She stood silently around the wall as she listened to him proclaim his love to some one else. She stood, never making a sound, as the love of her life for over two years tore her heart to shreds. The woman she considered a friend taking ownership of his mouth, as words became grunts. But it wasn't until this friend complained about how she was still sore from before he left.

It took her two minutes to reach her, his, their floor from Natasha's. It took her almost two days to pack up everything she owned, never once did he come to see her. It took her three hours to write a half-page letter, mostly because her eyes weren't staying dry, no matter how hard she bit her lip or how long she tried to keep her eyes closed. At least they were silently tears, not that it mattered since all the floors were sound proof.

The thought of hearing them made her rush to the bathroom to empty her stomach.

She wanted to hate him, she really did and honestly a small part of her might have. But she could never fully hate him, she could never totally erase what she felt, how deeply she felt. Especially since she knew Clint was it for her.

Knew no one else could ever do what her did to her. Even knowing he didn't feel the same way, knowing what he did, couldn't turn her heart completely against him.

She kind of thank god for that though. Thanked him for allowing her to walk away with out bitterness. Oh she was mad, hurt, and didn't trust him but she wasn't bitter.

Maybe he would finally be able to get what he needed, he was still broken and she hoped to hell Natasha could be the one to help fix him. Not change him, never change him, just heal him up a bit. She hoped he lived a good life, only hoped.

Because as soon as she walked through that door he was out of hers. If it was only her at stake she might have stayed, never be weak enough to go back but might be weak enough to pine from afar. She might have made herself watch, if only for morbid fascination as she was left behind.

It wasn't just her anymore though. It wasn't her life she was throwing away any more. Nope, a little screen with an even tinier pink cross that told her she wasn't allowed to be bitter wasn't allowed to waste away. The test had taken her four minutes to do from star to finish.

She wished he would never be alone because now she wouldn't be either.

So after exactly two days, three hours, and six minutes she had finished loading up a rental truck, under a fake name of course.

Thank you very much she did not need to just hand Tony a map to find her.

She walked out the doors and never looked back. A hand on her stomach and thoughts of a small boy with his daddy's eyes and smirk flittered in her mind. She was proud that it wasn't until the state sign for Iowa was in her rear view mirror that her sobs filled the truck.


	3. I don't Believe We have met Before, but

**So hello again! Here is the new chapter and real beginning of the story. I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you again for reading. Any reviews would be so helpful and thank you guys who have reviewed I really appreciate the comments! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Avengers anything but I do own the rest!**

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><p><em><strong>I don't Believe We have met Before, but then Again, I Guess I can't be so Sure<strong>_

ABOUT FIVE YEARS LATER

She can't believe it was happening like this. She had been so careful and the fact that it wasn't even a good super villain that ruined it for her made it even worse. If some one was going to ruin it then at least let it be an AMAZING super villain. Like the king of all villainy, the one all other villains had poster of when they were growing up, but nope, she got stuck with a guy who was freezing people with Jell-O.

"At least it looks like Jell-O," she thought as she raced towards her son's daycare.

A wad of yellow goo narrowly missing her, "Not even a good flavor, awesome".

She let her breath out slowly as she caught a glance of the daycare. Elmo was waving at her as she rushed passed the glass proclaiming the daycare's promise to turn her child into a unique and genius individual. Caden just liked the ball pit they had. She liked that the teachers seemed to think Caden was more mischievous versus the downright demon that his last daycare had said he was.

"He takes after his dad, I am pretty sure I was just the incubator. He has to be a mini clone," she had told the teacher. Ducking down to miss the flash of pity that always followed. She was young and a single mom; most have never seen her without a smile on her face. Whispers of what had happened had always seemed to be the topic of discussion behind her back.

She had to be two feet away from the door when a blob fell in front of her. The blob started to grow rapidly, the shape of a man was becoming more and more distinct. Thinking that she might still be able to get to the door in time to blockade it was her only thought.

Of course, before she could even take a step an arrow with spikes drove through the creature's head, dissolving it immediately. She had about a two second lag time before a familiar shadow crossed hers.

"Well Barton seems there is some one up there laughing their holy little butts off right now" her smile brittle as she inched closer to the door. Elmo's smile seemed to mock her efforts to get behind his two-dimensional self.

-Clint's POV-

All Clint could was stare. She wasn't supposed to be here; Kahea James was supposed to be somewhere safe. Yet, there she was all five feet three inches, dirty blonde hair and bright hazel eyes. Hazel eyes, he noticed, that kept glancing to the door next to him. He opened his mouth to say something when the door flew open almost hitting him in the nose.

"MOMMY!" a young boy rushed into her arms. Clint's thoughts were all the sudden gone as he watched Kahea cradle the child.

"MOMMY DID YOU SEE THE JELL-O MONSTER?!" his voice was slightly dimmed as the door opened again. A woman rushed out the door only to almost run into Kahea. Kahea eyed Barton, feeling a bit better that she wasn't the only one who thought it looked like a kid's dessert.

"Oh Ms. Bachman we are so sorry Caden got a glimpse of you through the window and…yeah he was gone" the woman kept her eyes on the sky. Her foot was slowly inching back towards the door, back to safety.

Kahea nodded and frowned down at the small boy. The boy, Clint noticed that was in turn staring at him.

Kahea telling the, teacher Clint presumed, it was okay, seemed to gain the small boy's attention. Looking back towards his mom the boy tightened his small Hawkeye backpack and grabbed his mother's hand.

"Mommy we need to go now", turning to Clint again he nodded his head as if agreeing to something.

"Hawkeye can lead us to safety, will lead us to safety." The boy's small eyes seem to burn a hole through his middle. Clint shook his head and the sound of explosions seemed to filter into hearing again. Which is weird because Clint couldn't remember when they had stopped.

Kahea looked at Clint, the hand not holding the boy's was shaking slightly he noticed. With out making a sound she moved closer to him, picking the boy up as she went. His eyes connecting with hers were silently commanding her to stay close. Kahea had the ability to get lost in the worst of times.

-Kahea POV-

Watching him move was like watching a ballerina dance with a wild cat. His foots steps were strong, graceful, and silent. His back always tense and shoulders raised ready to command his arms to release the arrow at any time. Never stopping he was fluid and certain about where he was going, even though she was sure the first time he had stepped into this city was an hour ago when the dreaded Jell-o monster showed up. A small squeeze on her hand caused Kahea to look down.

Kahea really wasn't lying when she said Caden was his father's clone. Blonde hair flopped over the brightest blue-green eyes ever seen, and that smirk that seemed to never fully leave is face was an exact copy of the man's in front of her. Even his attitude seemed to stem from Clint's DNA, scoping out an area before fully entering, quick to make friends and even quicker to protect the people he cares about.

Of course she could of done with out the disdain for authority and need to express themselves in a sarcastic way to those around them. The need to perform at least one heart attack inducing stunt each hour was also something she could have forgone. The only thing he seemed to inherit from her was the word vomit that would leave their mouths whenever they were nervous.

It seemed as if loving Hawkeye was ingrained in her DNA as well, because her kid could not get enough of him. Sheets, pillows, toys, archery lessons (an amazing skill level for bows and arrows as well as almost inhuman eye sight also seemed to be passed down), martial arts, themed birthday parties, Halloween costumes, all must be at least Hawkeye colors. It was Hawkeye or bust for that kid.

Never had Kahea been so thankful for being able to lock down her emotions as the day when her son walked into her room clutching a crudely drawn purple and black figure in their family picture. Of course she swears she lost a couple of years off her life for that small heart attack, and if she locked herself in the bathroom to cry that night, well, no one ever needed to know that.

Shaking her head to displace the thoughts swirling around Kahea looked up quickly to confirm that Hawkeye was leading them right to their neighborhood. Hopefully when they got close she would be able to break away while he was in hero mode letting her and her son slowly fade back into the frantic city. Following she came up with a quick escape route, waiting until Clint was fully involved in a fight three Jell-O men, people, things before making her escape. Caden was, thankfully, silent as he watched his hero at work.

-Clint's POV-

Before Clint had even moved to strike at the first monster he knew Kahea was ready to bolt. He could sense her moving further to his left. Her hold on the small boy tightened as she began to turn away from him. As the last two monster men, people, things, charged him he glanced up to catch the small boys eyes for the last time.

Only to come face to face with his own smirk aimed straight at him.

And aimed it was because Clint's breath left him even as he stepped in to deliver the killing blow to the last monster. Heart hammering he realized why the boy's gaze had made his hearing fail and his gut dropped to his feet. The boy (what was his name?_ fuck_) had his eyes.

"Oh Christ" Clint murmured taking a step towards the retreating couple his earpiece came to life commanding his assistance about two miles over.

As he watched Kahea fade from view he promised as soon as this was done he would find her again. Soon.

Because what is the point of being an Avenger if he can't use it to help find the love of his life and their kid?


	4. Oh Henry, You got Something to Tell Me

**Oh My Gosh guys! I loved my reviews and so many new followers! I am so happy you all are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Hopefully I will get more reviews and followers the longer the story gets. Please review, critics are more then welcome! This chapter does contain some awesome lyrics from one of my favorite bands ****_The Civil Wars (the song is called Oh Henry)_**** but is NOT a song fic. I do have a playlist I listen to when writing so feel feel to message me or suggest songs for me to add. Thank you for reading!**

**As always: I do not own the Avengers but do own Kahea and Caden and the storyline!**

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><p><strong>Oh Henry, You've Got Something to Tell Me?<strong>

Kahea laughed as she got ready for her night job. The town might be a mess but come hell, high water, or Jell-O monsters apparently, folks needed to drink. As the bar's highlighted bartender she had no choice but to show up. The fact that the bar owner was such a close friend that Caden called him Pappy might have had something to do with it as well. Brushing her curls lose she reached for her make up as Caden pretended to strum as toy guitar to the music following from the stereo.

"Mama sing!" the rambunctious boy commanded. Jumping on her bed he preformed a back flip all while holding on to his guitar. Kahea smiled as she finished her makeup holding her hairbrush to her mouth she started to get ready to sing the next song that came on the radio. Dancing around the bed the two soon caught a giggle fit and collapsed on the bed heads just brushing each other's.

Kahea turned her head to catch the boy's eyes. Eyes that sparkled, practically glowing with happiness. She wished it was the songs on the radio that completely gave the boy his giggle fit yet, she knew most of it was due to the encounter he had with Hawkeye not even a full day before. Brushing the hair from those sparkling eyes she kissed his forehead trying to cover the twinge of guilt she felt in her gut.

-Caden's POV-

"Mom no! That's gross!" Sprinting off before she could plant another one Caden let his mom finish getting ready. Packing a bag full of toys and coloring books he got ready for tonight as well. The bar was putting on a small concert to help raise money to clean the town and he was excited to be able to join his mother at the grown up place.

Besides he was almost five and totally both smart and strong for his age. So obviously he was a man already way more of a man then those stupid kindergarten boys. He knew they would have never been able to keep up with the Hawkeye. Yup, he was a man alright, and now he could do man things like protecting his mom tonight from those losers his Pappy was always talking about.

As a Hawkeye-in-training Caden knew he had to protect those around him. Meeting the hero face to face only cemented the four year old's idea that he was the next Avenger. He could totally rock the black and purple. He knew this to because the prettiest girl in class had told him that before she kissed his cheek on the playground.

Oh yeah, he was TOTALLY a man.

With one last check in his bag to make sure he had packed his favorite Hawkeye coloring books, action figure, and his trusty sling shot he hurried over to the hallway. Smiling up at his mom as she grabbed his hand he wondered if men were allowed to hold their mommies hand. Shrugging he followed as she locked the door behind them.

-Kahea POV-

Kahea was on constant alert. She at anytime Clint could come swaggering though those doors. The Avengers had decided to stay for an extra couple of days to help clean up the town. Thankfully the Jell-O monster, the name she had dubbed it, was more sticky then destructive and a zero death tally out shone the clumps of yellow goop that just seemed to not want to come off the buildings. So broken windows and smashed cars aside she was hoping that the group would leave soon. Just in case they weren't she had a bag packed in her car and she had taken off both jobs so she and Caden could take a long weekend in the mountains.

Tense muscles aside the night wasn't a bad one. Caden was on a barstool next to Pappy and was picking a through a list of songs that Kahea would soon be on stage to sing through. Smiling at a regular she got poured a couple pints and laughed at a joke one of the bar flies had slurred out.

One of the biggest bars in town the décor was simple and fun. Neon signed proclaiming different kind of beers and liquors half covered the mirror wall. Wooden booths and tables, large slabs of wood served as chairs, cushioned by a dark worn in leather, surrounded a dance floor. No colored lights or disco ball for "Pap's Place" low lights hung inside old beer bottles and mason jars. A low stage off to the corner and a mechanical bull for laughs seemed at home against dark green and brown walls.

A hidden local secret it might be the biggest bar in town but it was also the most private. The outside was just white and brick walls, a faded sign that never fully lit up kept it that way. Kahea loved it here and the people loved Kahea.

Keeping herself busy wasn't a problem tonight. The bar was packed with locals wanting to support and console one another. There might have been a low physical injury list but monsters never came to this place. Anamosa, Iowa was to small a place for this kind of stuff. People were scared.

Taking a deep breath she glance again towards the door before taking a deep breathe and walking back to her son. He anxiously gave her a list of songs he had picked from the original list that she just had to sing. Kahea kissed his head gaining a groan from the boy before grabbing the list and walking towards the stage. Watching Caden scramble to grab Pappy's hand to pull him closer to the stage Kahea shook her head. Nodding to the band behind she let herself loosen up and got ready to get lost in the music.

- Clint's POV-

Clint stared at the front of the bar with an unreadable expression. Flanked by his fellow Avengers the usually stoic man was anxiously shifting his weight from leg to leg. Though the shift was minuet it was enough for the Man of Iron to place a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down Will Treaty. No need to lose face it's just the mother of your child, ya know the kid you didn't even know about, in there. Whatever."

At Clint's stare Tony slowly took his hand away. Shrugging at Steve's glare Tony turned back to Clint to continue putting his foot in his mouth until Bruce quietly shook his head at him. Sighing Tony started to walk towards the entrance.

Clint wanted to follow him, truly he did, but for some reason his feet where just not listening. Which was funny as fuck because the only other time his body seemed to not connect to his brain was currently working at the bar in front of him. Damn, that girl was messing with his sense and she hadn't even been back in his life for a full day.

Shaking his head Clint carefully rearranged his body to give off a particularly strong "fuck off" vibe. His steps silent and hands loose his teammates looked at each other in worry before jogging over to meet Tony and Clint at the door. Taking one more around him Clint moved his head side to side, cracking his neck he was ready for battle.

What he wasn't ready for was to see her in a literal spotlight, above a sea of heads. He sure as hell wasn't ready to see her croon into a mike, holding the stand as if it was a lover. No he really wasn't ready to see Kahea's hair falling around her shoulders wavy and shining, a small braid on either side of her head holding some of it away from her face. Eyes closed, lips pink and round, he felt that nothing could take away his breath faster.

Or at least that's what he thought until he caught sight of her outfit. Teal with a neckline that was big enough to slip over a shoulder, proclaiming her favorite color to be chrome in large faded grey letters, her top was just short enough to not reach the top of her shorts. Jean shorts so old the color had long since faded and he knew from experience they were soft, comfy and ripped at the back pocket, edges frayed, he had a hard time taking his eyes away from them. Brown, roughed up cowboy boots, bright yellow nails and a few silver rings spread out on her fingers completed her outfit.

"Aw fuck", he breathed out. He felt himself be pulled to the bar as Tony ordered the group beers. Settling into the back booth Clint immediately grabbed the chair in the darkest corner. Feeling three sets of eyes on him Clint kept his face explicitly neutral.

"Shit", he murmured another curse as Steve turned to take in the atmosphere around him. Deciding to take after his dear Captain Clint looked away from the stage only for his eyes to flash back towards it at the sound of a child's laughter.

There was the kid now bouncing in Kahea's arms and singing along to the song. Causing the crown to applause loudly.

"Mama you need to sing your song" the kid exclaimed as the song finished. Leaning closer Clint didn't even notice the movement of his team gathering closer, as if to cast a shield around him. Kahea looked slightly confused until the kid whispered in her ear lifting a small hand to cup his mom's ear so no one could see what he said.

Damn if that kid didn't have his hands, or his sixth sense apparently. Because after Kahea put him back on the ground and watch him scramble into an older man's arms, the first string of words coming from her mouth went straight into his soul. As if ice water was dumped on the whole table of men they sat in horrid silence as they listen to Kahea sing about a Henry from her past.

"Oh the grass is green

Everywhere but under me

Or so it seems"

Yeah, he was fucked.


	5. Sometimes the Hurt is so Deep, Deep,

**Thank you guys for the reviews! (Here's looking at you NOTagentsofnothing420 and especially saliorraven34 you guys are awesome :)) I would like some more please! Criticisms more then welcome! Thank you for reading my story and I hope you all enjoy it. Again the title and lyrics are sadly not mine but Patty Griffin (Rain) title, Mumford and Sons (Little Lion Man) and Emmylou Harris (Snake Song). Please enjoy.**

**Never had and Never will own the Avengers but I do own Kahea and Caden and Pappy and the rest!**

**Sometimes the Hurt is so Deep, Deep, Deep You Think that Your Going to Drown**

"Two things you want will just never be right

Its never rained like it has to night before

Now I don't wanna beg you baby

For something maybe you could never give"

Her eyes closed as she poured her soul into the song. Holding onto the mike like it was the only thing keeping her standing Kahea let everything she had been feeling leak into the song.

Singing was Kahea's way for letting everything go, of washing away all those past regrets and walking away clean. Writing was also an escape for her, pairing her words with music just made it feel like she was taking care of both her heart and soul. As soon as Pappy had heard her singing one night after closing he had badgered her day and night until she finally got on the stage. Since that night she had been performing at least three times a week for about an hour and a half each. She loved it.

Kahea's only rule was that she didn't want to be advertised, if word of mouth was good for Pappy's then word of mouth was good for her. The local's were fiercely proud and secretive of their bar but they were protective of Kahea. They wanted her to stay and she wanted to stay to. It was a mutually beneficial agreement (so Caden had told her, that she still giggle over when ever he tried to say beneficial).

Slightly swaying Kahea was totally engrossed in her music. Eyes cloudy, only focusing when her son came into view. The anxiousness of the day had melted away for a bit, her muscles loosening as she changed songs. A more upbeat song that still held a bit of a hauntingly beautiful tune helped the audience to calm down with her. The dance floor was quiet tonight as people were content to just stand and listen, the atmosphere dripping with the need for unity.

"Well unity they will get, with a side of chicken noodle soup for the soul," Kahea thought. Sending a smile down towards the audience she encouraged them to gather courage from one another. Courage she soaked up as well. She knew that sooner or later a man with x-ray eyes and the nose of a bloodhound would be on the look out for. So yeah, she packed a bag and her gas tank was full.

Caden and her were going to disappear into the night and not look back for sometime.

So she had made friends, finally had stable jobs, and god, oh god, Pappy. She would write and Caden would send pictures and they would miss him. They would both miss Pappy like hell but that little boy was worth a hundred million Pappy's. She wasn't, could never, risk loosing Caden.

Never.

Reaching down to grab her water bottle she nodded to one of the guys to come up front and start singing. As he opened up with a Mumford and Sons song she picked up the back up vocals as she took quick sips in-between. After winking at Caden she closed her eyes again, yet till a niggling sense in the back of her head had them opening.

Eyes slowly taking in the scene around her it wasn't until the third time around that her whole body abruptly shifted into a defense mode. It took that long because the face she saw wasn't the one she was expecting. No, instead of a laser beam glare, she was presented with eyes dark enough that she couldn't tell the pupil from the iris. Almost missing her queue for her next song she barely held back the need to jump off stage, grab Caden and run.

"Aw Jesus, Mary, and Joseph", Kahea breathed out. So what she couldn't see Hawkeye yet? Those eyes could only belong to one man and if Tony Stark was here you could bet that the others weren't far behind.

If they weren't already here.

"You can slip in, try to find me

Hold your breath and flat deny me

It makes no difference to my thinkin'

I'll be here when you start sinkin'"

She sang out as strongly as she could. They might be the Avengers but she was a mother. And face it…

NOTHING was scarier then a mama bear protecting her cub.

-Tony's POV-

He had known the minute she registered his presence in the room. Her hands tightened, her legs spread out a bit more as if she was getting ready to physically fight. Tony registered all that, but he noticed her voice. Her eyes seemed to blaze as her voice took on a raspier tone; the words were dripping honey and covered in nails, simultaneously stabbing him in the fucking gut while they left a sweet and cloying flavor in his mouth. Well, shit who knew Goldilocks could fight off the three bears?

It reminded him of how a rattle snake would shake it's rattler warning the enemy if they got any closer they would be facing some very deadly poison. One that promised a damn painful, but not very short death. Drawling it out until the prey was a shell of its former self. Shit, he would bet most of his fortune that there wasn't much difference between the two either.

-Steve's POV-

Unlike Tony, Steve didn't see a rattler. He saw a soldier; one who had seen all the bad yet never let go of the good either. Kahea didn't have that dark look on her face like the others, soldiers and Avengers alike. Her whole self seemed to glow with a confidence that could only be won on a battlefield. Doesn't matter if her battlefield was long nights trying to get food on the table or gunfights trying to survive the war. Shit, he knew war was fought on all different kind of battlefields; and she had been fighting a never ending one.

Steve had personal knowledge of that look. His mother wore it every single fucking day.

A mother who had to worry about the cost of winter clothes, whether to get electrical light or hot water that week. Even worse, if she should eat that week versus that toy he wanted for his birthday. It might not have been as bad for Kahea although he couldn't stop comparing her to his mother.

Some how it didn't surprise him that they were that different: stance, strength, and all.

-Bruce POV-

Bruce was tense, which wasn't something very new. What was new was the reason for his tenseness. The people around him weren't to rowdy. The effects of the madman still had a bit of a hold and no one wanted a fight tonight. Nope, he was tense because he felt guilty. A feeling that the big guy was still trying to figure out meant he needed to make an appearance or not.

Bruce was guilty because the girl in front of him had a look that he had seen many times over the years. A young girl who was forced to see the world as black and dull before her time. The colors that she could once see had leaked away. He knew she had her own personal rainbow in her son but even a rainbow couldn't fill up the sky.

A rainbow only shone that brightly after a storm so strong that it would tear away foundations and destroy entire buildings.

He had been one of the closest to Kahea. He had never stopped looking but he had slowed down. His hands shook slightly as he took off his glasses; closing his eyes he messaged them briefly before putting them back on. A headache pounding behind his eyes he couldn't help the twinge of pure of joy he felt at finding her.

Kahea always said you can never shut the door on true family, especially the ones you choose. God, did he hope she still felt the same.

-Clint's POV-

He eyed her from the shadows, practically seeing the hostility that she was giving off in the air. Letting her words wash over him he relaxed his body. She may have planned to run off but she was getting ready for a fight. Her body a strong line, fist clenched, she bore into him. He could deal with a fight.

He couldn't deal with a damn disappearing act. If they were fighting that means she was there to fucking fight. A disappearance meant nothing but memories, whiskey, and thoughts of what could be. Clint had done the goddamn country song and he was ready to move onto rock'n'roll. Music was always a part of their life together so it made sense that it would still play a big role in their face off.

So what if she looked like she was ready to rip into him with some Three Days Grace instead of that cheesy Bon Jovi stuff that always got her hips rocking. He had lived to long with out her and this time he wasn't going to let her go again.

Letting his eyes wonder his breath left his body again. A recent habit he had no idea where he had picked it up. He knew it had nothing to do with the kid who seemed to be staring in his direction even though Clint knew for a fact he was safe in the shadows. At least he thought he was safe until he saw the boy quickly whisper in the old man's ear, wildly pointing at the table he sat at. Then again he was sitting at a table with some of most well known superheroes ever. It wasn't until the small boy started to bodily drag the man towards them that he knew his thoughts were wrong as fuck.

The boy was coming to their spot all right but his eyes had never left Clint's. Coming to the table the boy calmly walked around, as his caretaker seemed to subtly take in the men around him. Clint's respect for the man grew as he noticed the graying gentleman looked ready to take on all four of them if the little one needed protection. Clint bet that the geezer sure as shit knew whom they were as well.

"Mr. Hawkeye, are you looking for me? Because my mommy said that sometimes she thought I was a clone of you and that I was a Hawkeye in training since I was baby and that one day you might want to meet me because I'm awesome and because I am super strong and because I can shoot totally awesome for my age and she keeps mumbling about somethin that has to do with a small attention spanner and not like authoririty or spinach"

The Avengers eyes were wide because the kid had said this all in one breath. Clint's eyes were wide because up close the kid was a mini him. From his eyes to the way he stood; it was all Clint fucking Barton.

Talk about looking in a mirror he just might have a clone after all.

The boy must have taken the silence as a bad sign because he immediately leans in to whisper to Clint.

"Don't worry Mister Hawkeye I only knew it was you because mommy let me have a picture of you without your mask she kept in her sock drawer as long as I didn't tell no body. I hasn't! Cross my heart!" His eyes eagerly bore into Clint's as his small hand reached out to touch his.

"Oh its been kept a secret alright" said a voice to Clint's right. "He is the best secret keeper in the world my Caden Fletcher Bachman", there Kahea stood. Grinning, running her fingers hair through the boy's hair.

The men instantly stiffened as her voice broke through the haze the boy had created. Well, most of the men at least.

Clint didn't notice though, he was to busy repeating his son's name in his head over and over. Fuck, HIS son's name.

Caden Fletcher Bachman, son of one Clint Barton.


	6. Will You still Love Me

**So I am loving writing this story and I hope you guys are loving reading it! The characters will start evolving more and I want to start moving the storyline a little faster within the next few chapters so that I am not only on day three by chapter twenty-five or something. I just really feel like this meeting was important and the story needed a strong beginning so hopefully you all aren't holding your breath for to much longer. Thank you for the reviews and I would love some more please! Any thoughts would be very appreciated! Enjoy the next chapter! **

**DO NOT OWN THE TITLE (LANA DEL RAY- YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL) LYRICS OR THE AVENGERS, though I do own the storyline and the others! So with out further interruptions:**

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><p><strong>Will You still Love Me when I got Nothing but My Aching Soul?<strong>

Clint didn't say anything as he took his eyes off the boy, fuck, _off Caden_. He kept his stance tense and face blank. Clint didn't know what exactly Kahea was planning but she _sure as shit_ wasn't taking off into the moonlight. Besides that kid she was gripping was starting to wiggle again.

God, he didn't notice how much he wanted to hear that voice again until the kid, fuck, _Caden_ looked like he was about to open his mouth again.

He glanced around catching the older gentleman's eyes. The man nodded before moving next to Kahea and the ki-, fuck, _Caden Fletcher_.

He really liked the name. Caden Fletcher was an awesome name.

And no, it had nothing to do with the fact that it was his kid's name.

The last name had to go though.

Fuck, his kid.

_Fuck_, he was going to have to stop saying fuck.

The man, Pappy, cut off his line of thought by offering for ever one to head to a back room where it would be quieter and less public. Without waiting for the adults around him to agree Caden climbed into Clint's arms. Clint's body froze for a breath, arms moving around around the boy extremely slowly until Caden was comfortable shifting his weight onto Clint.

The fact that this boy was already trusting him made Clint suddenly feel ten feet tall.

"Don't worry Mister Hawkeye I'll show you the back room. It's my second favorite place in the whole bar! When no one is using it I am allowed to go back there and do whatever I want" pointing to the man ahead of them Caden continued to talk at thirty miles an hour. "Pappy even set up a small dart course up so I can use my indoor bow and arrows. Plus that means mommy alwayyyysssss lets me drink a Shirley Temple if I promise not to jump on the tables."

Clint just had to smile at the last part. Caden had leaned in to whisper the last part but true to toddler fashion the kid was heard by everyone. For the first time since Kahea had charged back into his life Clint felt like he could breath again.

Tightening his arms around the small body he easily stood, being careful not to even jostle the boy. Walking away without even checking if anyone was following him. Clint let Caden point out the way.

God, Clint wasn't going to let this kid ever leave his sight. Caden's mom was going to have a fucking _hard_ time hiding from him as well.

-Tony's POV-

Tony wasn't even surprised when Clint walked away with out doing a scope of the room as habit. He would like to think it was because he trusted his teammates, which Clint did, with his life. This time though, it had more to do with the small clone in his arms. The lines in Clint's body weren't relaxed but they weren't as defined either. Instead, Tony thought, the man seemed to glow a bit.

Time to stop that train of thought before he grew a total vagina.

Tony was the third to follow the pair. The man, Pappy, had held an arm out to Kahea and she gratefully took it. It was plain to see that this grandpa played a very special role in the young duo's life.

He couldn't help but feel a _littlemaybeafuckington_ jealous of that.

Tony might not have had the sway with Kahea that Bruce did but they were close. The whole team looked to her was part of their mismatch family. She had carved her own place. As much as Tony didn't want his junk totally falling off, he had to admit that the space left a big hole that had yet to be filled.

Oh God, that kid was going to be spoiled before the _week_ was even over. Tony felt himself smirk intentionally when he heard the kid giggling at a face his mom was making to him from over Clint's shoulder. Dirty blond hair and a face that screamed troublemaker with a complicated mix of tough vulnerability. An expression he had personally seen on Clint's face or; Mister Hawkeye's, as Caden had called him (insert giggle, a _MANLY_ giggle, and a promise to call Clint that here).

Staring without concern he studied the kid.

Fuck, the kid had a name, _Caden_.

_Fuck_ he had a terrible gut feeling he wouldn't be able to say fuck anymore.

God, he hoped Pepper wouldn't mind turning lesbian because he was definitely coming back a girl. Especially if that kid was able to pull the same puppy dog eyes Clint could.

That reminded him he still had to create a new chemical for Clint's arrows. They took to long to detonate and there wasn't a big enough boom.

There now, Tony knew his junk wasn't going to fall off, looked like Pep wasn't going to have to switch sides after all.

-Steve's POV-

Steve was the last to leave the table. Watching the room, he noticed a few eyes following not the Avengers, but Kahea. It was plain to see how protective they were of their own. Trying to not seem to intimidating Steve smiled at the few that made eye contact with him.

As the group passed through a door behind the bar the noise drastically lowered. They watched Caden slide out of Clint's arms and run to the other side of the room.

Taking the atmosphere in Steve decided that he liked it back here.

A little smaller then main room behind them the hard wood floors and walls carried the same relaxed theme. Lightening fixtures hung from the ceiling in forms of copper lanterns giving the room a classier feel with out looking completely out of place. Tables lined one side of the room. Chairs were stacked to the side. Caden was trying his hardest to pull out giant panels made to cut the room in half if need be.

Steve walked over to help the struggling boy and the smile he got in thanks created an answering grin of his own face. Tugging Steve's hand and pointing rapidly the boy drugged him to a set of chairs and boxes in the middle of the room.

"Well Mister" the small boy got super serious suddenly "I have ta show Hawkeye how good I am then maybe he'll train me. Because I am going to grow up to be Hawkeye because my mommy said I'm the BESTEST at protecting people. So does Pappy, he said I am almost big enough to help protect mommy from all the creeps. Well, he didn't say creeps but mommy wont let me say the word Pappy said." Whispering the last part to Steve as if it was a secret.

"Plus I am totally awesome at archery. I am at the top of the Will Tell group and I'm suppose to be in the Robin Hood class but I am that good." Caden flexed his arms as he took a deep breath to puff out his chest.

Holding back a laugh Steve nodded his head and made sure to arrange his face in a serious manner as well. "You do look very strong."

Putting chairs and boxes where ever the kid told him, Caden chatted away. Only needing an occasional nod or "Yup" Steve was able to keep an eye on the others.

The rest of the Avengers were on his right, not really talking but standing close together. Tony's shoulder would randomly brush against Clint's when ever Caden would do something particularly Barton like. Bruce seemed to be taking deep breaths; eyes flicking between Clint, Steve, and Kahea.

Kahea looked as calm as one could be and if it was any other group then the Avengers she might have pulled it off to.

But as relaxed as the rest of her was the ring on her right hand kept turning. Silver glinted on her ring finger as it twisted catching the light. As Caden finally finished setting up the mini obstacle course Kahea slowly made her way towards them.

-Kahea POV-

Every step she took felt as if she was walking through molasses. Watching her son take complete control of Captain America made her smile. Caden had a gift of just being able to capture the delight of anyone. He was purely a beam of sunshine and Kahea didn't know what she would do if he was taken from her.

But she couldn't think of that. Clint might not be able to keep from breaking her heart but he would never purposely break her soul. Because that's what he would do, he would tear it apart if he tried to take her son away. Shaking her head Kahea finally reached the obstacle course.

"Alright Baby Bird let show these heroes how it's done", she run a quick hand through his hair as he ran to get his bow from the back of the room. Turning around Kahea spoke to the group of men for only the second time tonight.

"Working as much as I do means sometimes a babysitter can't always be there so Pappy here usually keeps an eye on him while I work out front. I got one of the teachers from his range to make a set of indoor bow and arrows for his birthday." Keeping eye contact and her hands in her pocket the attitude pouring off her was strong.

Kahea James was a great mom and if they thought they were going to just show up and take him they had another thing coming.

Her mouth opened to make another statement before he son came barreling in to disrupt her. Clutching a small, blue, long bow and slinging a quiver of arrows on his back Caden looked as if he was preparing to go to war. His face was tense and his little fingers nervously plucked at the string. Coming to stand in front of Clint he straighten out his shoulders and nodded his head.

Kahea hid a small smirk; these guys had no idea what they were in for. As soon as Caden had decided he wanted to be Hawkeye at three years old, he would stop at nothing to be the best little superhero he could be. Martial Arts, archery, even gymnastics had all become a staple in his life. Religiously the boy had started to train himself. Though he had many friends if a birthday party or play date interfered with his classes then he would drop the event.

As Caden start to dart, jump, flip, tumble, and shoot his way through the course the men's mouths started to drop. Shaking her head Kahea marveled at how many times Caden was not taken seriously because of his own laidback and witty attitude. Kahea watched her past lover as he started to map Caden's moves, she had no doubt by the end of it he would be able to follow in her, their, son's path easily and step for step. Maybe even have some pointers on what he can do to be better or more efficient.

Caden was a special child and she couldn't keep the thoughts of what would happen when, more like now that, Clint saw it.

A part of her wanted Clint to step up so badly. Claiming and loving the child, becoming a stable part of his life. She knew keeping him away from Clint was her idea but that didn't mean she wished she could have changed it. She had her reasons but reasons didn't answer a young boy's question of why he didn't have a daddy like the others. She knew Clint was capable of becoming a father to Caden, not just a mentor or hero. She knew it was best for her son to come to know his father; for Clint to become a major part of who this boy could become. The protection and family that Clint could give him was also a major highlight.

Who didn't want the Avengers as part of their family?

Another part of her was beyond afraid of what would happen if Clint decided to one day just leave him. In her heart of hearts she knew this was a beyond impossible situation. Clint could be part of a family, the men behind him silently giving support showed that. But what if he couldn't handle a family of his own blood? Couldn't handle being a father? Would he just leave? Breaking Caden's heart little by little when he realizes his daddy had better things to do?

Worse yet, what if Clint decided it was HER who didn't deserve Caden? As a single mom working two jobs just to keep food on the table she would have very little sway in court. Even with Pappy's help to pay for Caden's extracurricular activities Kahea had trouble keeping him in clothes that fit. What court would give her primary custody if he had a father who could literally give him the stars? Could give him the best protection? Who would go up against the World's Mightiest Heroes?

As Kahea watched Caden flip over the last chair to put an arrow straight into the target as soon as he landed her heart thundered at the possibility of what was going to happen to them now. Because whatever position Clint decided to fill in Caden's life, she knew one thing for certain.

Caden Fletcher Bachman's life was about to get a lot more interesting and Kahea James?

Well, her world was about to be turned upside down.


	7. In My Recovery, I am a Soldier at War

**Hi everyone! I am so glad you all seemed to like the last chapter. Thank you every one who became new followers/made this story a favorite and those who still are. I hope you all enjoy this chapter just as much. I am really starting to get excited about putting up my chapters here. Again the title is not my words but those of awesome singer James Arthur. Review welcome. Please enjoy!**

**I DO NOT OWN THE AVENGERS but I do own the storyline and characters!**

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><p><strong>In My Recovery, I am a Soldier at War<strong>

-Clint's POV-

Watching the child fly through the air was amazing and _fucking_ heart stopping. A small voice in the back of his mind murmured something about this feeling being akin to what his team feels when he jumps off the roof without thinking. Funny, the voice sounded a lot like Kahea, or maybe it was just because Kahea decided to talk just then.

"He has been in gymnastics since he was three and archery since he could hold a bow." Shoulders tense as she watched the young boy run to the other side of the room to collect his arrows.

Of course she could read his mind. He swore sometimes she was a better candidate for the Avengers then he ever was.

Nodding his head his eyes followed the boy run back towards him. Slowing to a walk and back straighten as he got closer to Clint. He lifted his eyes all the way up to meet Clint's. Without thinking both Clint and Caden cocked their heads to the side, arms crossed over their chest and legs spread slightly apart.

As soon as he noticed what was happening Clint dropped his arms as if he was on fire. Two sets of eyes searching for Kahea's automatically. She just shook her head, hands covering her mouth as she shook with laughter.

God he had missed that sound.

"Well" the little mini-me rolled his eyes as if he couldn't believe Clint was taking so long to answer.

Coughing, he was coughing, because _godfuckinhelldamnit_ he suddenly _couldn't_ breathe. He had a kid and it just hit him that he hadn't spoke to words to the boy. Jesus F. Christ what were you suppose to say when opening your mouth for the first time around your own blood and D.N.A?

"You did great kid." KID?! WHAT KIND OF FUCKTARD CALLS THEIR KID, FUCKING KID WHEN HE MEETS HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME?! "I mean", this _godfuckinhelldamnit_ coughing has got to stop; "You did amazing Caden".

Watching his son's eyes almost pop out of his head filled Clint with some kind of peace he had never felt before. Only knowing the kid a day and freaked out as fuck, Clint still felt a little piece of himself just fill with Caden. Drinking up his every facial expression, every sound as well as body movement. He had already missed so much. Clint was sure as hell he wasn't going to miss anymore.

Clint could tell the toy sized Avenger already was well on his was to having Clint wrapped around his finger. Damn, the way Steve doted on Caden meant the dude was ready to fight the Germans all over again for him. He just fucking _knew_ Tony was already doing the calculations to make the boy a pint sized Iron Man suit, lasers and all.

Which damn well wasn't going to happening, Caden was OBVISOUSLY going to want to wear the family colors purple and black. Plus Kahea would never go for it. Shit, _he_ wouldn't go for it.

Thinking of Kahea Clint's eyes narrowed a bit. Not enough to alert the peewee archer, who was currently grabbing on to said woman's pant leg talking a hundred miles an hour yet the lack of breath didn't seem to faze her at all. The kid has got to have air balloon for lungs because there was no way a normal human could talk that much and _not_ pass out.

"Don't get distracted Barton" he mumbled under his breath. The shock was starting to melt away little by little, though he still got a bit dizzy whenever he looked at Caden, and was being replaced by anger. Fuck he missed almost _five years_ of his kid's life because of her!

_Fuckyouverymuch_ yes, he had kept count of how long she had been out of his life.

_Fuck_ he had to stop cursing.

Of course that time would have to happen after he had his talk with the escape artist herself.

-Bruce POV-

Watching Caden practically explode with happiness brought a calm over the scientist. The fact that Clint seemed to be free of a heavy weight also helped to put a smirk on the quiet man's face.

Clint has had a shadow following for a while. Though Clint hadn't been moping around the whole time it was apparent he had some part of him missing. Even being in the same room as Kahea acted like a light to chase the remnant of the shadow away.

That didn't mean that Bruce couldn't see the tension between the two either. He could probably cut the air with a knife it was so filled with anticipation. They had to have a talk, a _long_ one. Followed by one with each of the Avengers. He needed to talk to her and standing on the other side of the room, giving her space, was killing him.

Bruce _missed_ her. She became part of his family and he was hurt when she disappeared.

Yet here she was, with a breath taking little boy, a new life all her own. He couldn't help but be a little bitter that it looked like she moved on, leaving them all behind. Keeping his eyes on her as the older gentleman behind her hovered. He seemed to be close to the duo. Caden shown with love for the old man.

That hurt. Who was this man and why was he allowed to play a big part in their lives when he wasn't? The logical part of him knew that she had to cut all ties to make a clean break of Clint. But that didn't mean that the Big Guy had to like it.

Bruce couldn't figure out whom he was madder at. Kahea for leaving, or Clint for screwing it all up.

Taking a deep breath Bruce felt his heart beat slow down. Closing his eyes he rubbed them under his glasses, stilling when he felt a small hand pulling on his pant leg.

"Ya know mister my mom has a picture of you to. I didn't say so at first because I forgot but then I remembered because you rubbed your eyes like you did in the picture. Why didn't ya open your eyes in the picture? My said she was being ste- stealtty, like a ninja. I told her she is to loud to be a ninja but she just gives me a look and then tickles me." Caden's brow slowly crinkled, as he seemed to think back to the something. "In fact she's got a picture of all of you but yours is the very funniest."

Bruce flickered his stare towards Kahea who wasn't looking at any of them, just playing with her fingers. Feeling another pull on his pant leg, funny how his pant leg was all of the sudden _attached_ to his heartstrings, Bruce let his hand curved around the top of the boy's head.

"I don't know about being a ninja but your mom does have pretty good sneaking abilities." Letting his fingers play in the child's soft hair, he finally managed eye contact with Kahea.

To which she promptly broke into a run and launched herself at him. Arms circling him as sobs muffled by his shirt.

"_I missed you Sunshine_."

-Kahea POV-

Kahea knew she should calm down. Bruce had every right to be mad at her right know but she needed to touch him. Bruce had always been a rock for her, a calm place in the storm. Bruce was family and to a woman who didn't have any that meant a whole lot. She let the familiar smell of him wash over her. She knew there would be some long talks before everything could even start to heal but she just needed to know it was a possibility.

Hearing him call her sunshine just made her crack even more. She had been stressed for years. The ware and tear of having to keep up the charade, never letting anyone close, it was slowly killing her. Caden was enough of a balm to keep her from fully realizing it; yet seeing the group was like waking up fully for the first time in five years. The hurricane of thoughts she had been having in the past day or so hadn't helped either. God, she really needed to get it _together_.

Through the haze of tears she heard her son ask why his mommy was crying and who hurt her because they were going to have an arrow coming out of their ass.

Wait, did he just say _ass_?

"Caden Fletcher Bachman! You do not use those words! I don't care what Pappy said he is a grown up and you, mister, are not!" Kahea quickly turned around, finger shaking in a smirking face. The words were fully out before she realized what her arrogant son was thinking.

At four, almost five, her son was already using his trouble making ways for good. Getting her angry so her tears would stop.

Oh, he was _smart _all right.

Bending down she gathered her son in her arms. Taking a deep and calming breath her eyes wandered to Clint's. He was staring at her with blank eyes, face just as unreadable.

A big difference from how he was looking at Caden. Selfishly she wished he would look at her with some kind of emotion. Kahea knew she had made some mistakes but the small ember of hurt sparked. She had done what she thought was right at the time, she was proud that her decision didn't come out of hurt. She wanted him to get mad, because if he got mad so could she.

Gearing up for a war, that is what she felt like she was doing; yet she didn't want to start a war with him. She knew there_ could_ be no war if they were to raise Caden in some kind of calm atmosphere. Another deep breath before lifting Caden up she turned back towards Bruce. Caden snuggled close, an obvious sign that he was finally starting to get sleepy.

"Well it's getting late. I was actually supposed to get off after the show." Looking back at Pappy she apologized. "I am sorry I forgot to punch out. Do you need me to stay or?" She let the question hang in the air. Finding herself tired all of the sudden she hoped Pappy let her go, even if she did feel safer at the bar.

Pappy walked over to her and Caden, putting a hand over the little boy's head, he ruffled his hair.

-Pappy's POV-

Pappy was a lot older then he likes to admit, though his body had no problem reminding him every morning. He had seen and heard everything from his time being young, wild, and traveling across the states.

He had family but he had cut ties with them a long time ago. His wife had died from cancer a few years before Kahea showed up. She was the love of his life, the one who helped him to change. Sadly, she was never able to give him kids.

He resigned himself to living a comfortable but lonely life.

Then Kahea Jones had showed up with a blonde haired baby, a beat up duffle bag, and an even more beat up truck. His heart couldn't help but grow a bit. He already had a reputation for being a gruff softy but this girl played on all the right heartstrings.

Barely twenty-three she was hard working, mature, and willing to do whatever she could to raise her son right. The shadow in her eyes telling him she saw the world in a way a girl like her should never had to see it.

Heartbreak was a _hard _as fuck thing to go through, no matter what age.

She had that heartbreak look in spades. She never let it get her down though, never let it affect the way she raised her son. He liked that about her. She _never_ blamed Caden for her hardships, never showered anything but love on the boy. Kahea James was one of the lucky few who wouldn't let bitterness enflame her. He _loved_ that about her the most.

Watching the boy grow was a blessing, just as it was to be nicknamed Pappy. Caden had started calling him that after watching a show and loved the way they said grandfather. It caught on quickly. After thirty-five years living in the little town he was newly christened.

He thinks it was one of the best things that have ever happened to him. He had a family all of the sudden. Birthdays to help plan, a grandkid to dote on, love to give and receive.

He watched as Kahea worked herself to the bone. Leaving the kid with a friend over night so she could work at the bar then over night at the bakery. Staying up all night to never stop once the sun lit up the sky. Caden would be up, chores would have to get done,_ only_ napping when Caden did.

When Caden was old enough to go to school she was able to get a bit of a break to sleep. Not that she ever really did, always cleaning or doing some errand.

It was those years before that hurt to watch.

He watched as she went from job to job, ending with making breakfast for the boy. How she never took it out on Caden mind boggled him. Sure, she had her bad days but the boy never really felt anything other then love. He took the boy whenever he could, paid for extra lessons the kid wanted but it wasn't enough sometimes.

Not that Kahea leaned on him all the way. She barely let him help pay for anything, only relenting when he claimed it was a birthday, Christmas, what-the-hell-ever-gift. She didn't want him to become her provider, needing to work through this _herself_.

Fuck, if he didn't have the money though, at his age what was he supposes to spend it on? A motor scooter? People were screwed in the head if they thought that was ever going to happen.

So being so a family member it was a natural reaction to stick around, offering comfort and protection to the duo in front of him.

He had watched the whole situation unfold in front on him. Watched closely as the boy ran around the room, wrapping the superhero's around his finger.

Funny how not even Earth's Mightiest Heroes didn't stand a chance around the toddler.

Kahea stuck close to him, muttering nonsense as she tried to keep it together. Drinking in comfort from him just being there he moved his hand to grab hers. He watched as she finally cracked rushing to the slight man in front of them. He was glad she was going to find peace.

Sad that that peace meant leaving him _behind_.

Well, never fully behind. He knew she would never leave him. More like his little family had some relatives and they were taking her and Caden away to college. He knew she was leaving the moment she invited the others into the back room. She needed this, Caden needed this.

Didn't mean he wasn't going to be Pappy Grizzly though. The man to the side of had hurt her deep. She may have never told him the exact situation or even his name but it didn't take a genius to tell which guy was Caden's dad. Even if the boy wasn't a photo image or personality snatcher, the way she acted around him was telling.

This, Clint, had earned the passive hate glare and that was enough for Pappy to hate him where he stood. Kahea didn't even like using the word hate but she was unconsciously giving off that "fuck off" vibe.

Putting his other hand on her head he leaned closer to her, staring her down.

She was tired.

"I will let ya go this time girl but next time I am making work till your feet bleed." A smirk appeared on her face as he intended, they both knew he would never do that. "Keep me in the loop sweetheart. You got the bakery tonight?"

When she shook her head he kissed her forehead. Silently asking if she needed help. Another shake had him quietly standing back, letting his hands drop.

"Alright sweetheart. I will see you both tomorrow?" At his question she nodded. Shifting Caden a bit to get his bag she was immediately relieved of the boy's bows and toys, the Clint fucker shrugging the small backpack on his shoulder.

A kiss on each cheek took Pappy's stare away from the man. Kahea and Caden echoed, "I love you" and started to the door, Caden waving from his perch in his mom's arms. The rest followed after her.

Well, he needed a shot of whiskey.

Shaking his head again he walked the opposite way, seconded guessing his choice at staying behind. These men wouldn't hurt them, not physically at least. He was beyond great at reading people plus, they were the damned Avengers. That didn't mean he didn't want to protect Kahea and Caden though.

He was _their_ damn Pappy.

Hell he needed a _whole_ bottle of whiskey, fuck the glass.

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><p><strong>P.S how would you guys feel about a short one shot about Clint and Kahea's past? Message me or review about how you guys would feel about it.<strong>


	8. See the way You hold Yourself

**So I didn't start writing this expecting it to come out so quick or so long but I just couldn't help it! I really was going to right a one shot that was connected to a future chapter I had written but then Hozier's "To Be Alone" came one and this just tumbled out. I really hope you guys like it. I am not big on writing super in depth one shots in a story, I think it kind of jips the reader out of a full chapter so I was thinking of starting another group for them. That way I could have a place to put them and they can be as detailed as I want them. How would you guys feel about that? Thank you for all the reviews! Please feel free to send some thoughts my way! I would love to know how you all feel about the story and how it is progressing. Thanks for reading!**

**I DO NOT OWN THE AVENGERS OR THE TITLE THAT BELONGS TO THE AMAZING HOZIER. I do own the rest!**

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><p><strong>See the way You hold Yourself, Reel Against Your Body's Borders<strong>

Kahea wasn't sure what exactly drew her to Clint but she had a feeling it might have something to do with how he felt against her.

She should have stayed home but when the guys decided to go out they all went out. It was pretty much impossible to get them to go away once they got the thought in their head she worked to hard. The Avengers were going to have a night on the town and she was their hostage. Plus, it was Clint that had invited her along.

As friends of course. _Of course_.

They had some how come to a small club, the bar was shady and the dance floor dimly lit, but to the tipsy super hero's no one cared. The place was clean enough and the people either to drunk to or just didn't care if they were super heroes or just everyday people. A local bar like this was a gem in New York and one that would be enjoyed to the fullest.

A smoky song floated from the jukebox as people moved slow and sensual against the beat. Clint had her back pressed to his front. His hips followed hers so closely that it was more of a same thought then matching the rhythm. Her heart beat louder as he put his arm across her stomach, hand stretching until it almost dipped into her waist ban.

Yeah, friends her ever loving _ass_.

Trying to keep her head from getting to clouded from the smell and touch of his skin, she kept her eyes open. Her head was begging to fall onto his shoulder but she fought against the feeling. Without consent her arm started to stretch backwards, curving around his neck, fingers digging into his hair.

Shit, she wasn't going to be another notch in his bedpost. No matter how hard her body screamed to let go.

She had worked hard to get where she was right now at work and she didn't need the looks or whisper's following her more then they already did. The bakery industry was a small one and becoming the Avenger's personal chef all of the sudden was bad enough.

Because _obviously_ a girl couldn't have some admittedly well built, amazingly handsome, super intelligent, world saving, friends. _Obviously_.

Okay, well when it was said like that it was a little…. What ever they were friends, all of them. Including (sadly) one very stimulating Hawkeye.

Kahea wasn't a girl to just hook up. _Never had been, never will be_. So when Hawkeye and her clicked it was some very sweet torture.

Sure, he was funny in a dry way, strong in the best sense, and caring when it was need most, but he was emotionally stunted. She was pretty sure he had skipped the how to share your feeling's day during kindergarten.

Which, with his background wouldn't be so surprising. Then again it was probably more of his background that made his heart turn to stone then missing class.

But if he kept breathing across her ear like that bad things were going to happen.

And she wasn't sure if they were going to end up being _good_ bad things or _bad_ bad things.

That's when Clint's lips brushed her neck. A shiver running down her spine.

So that would be good bad things then.

-Clint's POV-

Fuck he shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be doing this with _her_.

He actually liked, even respected Kahea, as did the others. They had come to accept her as a new misfit toy to be added to their ragtag group. Known as soon as she had been found stocking the fridge in the Avenger's personal kitchen at four in the morning; turning around to the Avenger's in various states of sleepy undress. Chewing out a very embarrassed Steven who had set off the red alert earlier.

Clint couldn't help but think about how amazingly attractive she had looked. Flour on the side of her nose, hair in a messy bun, and apron still on, staring him down from the other side of his arrow and bow. Her hazel eyes had been golden, blazing, and green. Her body tense with anger as she asked how they thought the kitchen stayed stocked.

The fact that she stood her ground brought the team's respect. Even if she later admitted her arms stayed cross after the incident was cleared up because she couldn't stop her hands shaking.

He couldn't stop his body from drawling hers even tighter at the flashback. The feel of her against him was more intoxicating then any thing behind that bar and he was planning on getting as drunk as he could off her.

Her body was small and delicate against his. Her skin smooth and her hands stained from whatever dye she had used in her bakery that day. The scent of gingersnap cookies wafted off of her and he could help himself as he leaned down to take a taste.

Lips gliding down her neck Clint reveled in the taste of her. The burst of vanilla and spice left his lips tingling and his mouth watering.

Fuck, he _needed_ her.

He needed her body wrapped around his, her legs around his waist and her skin completely bared to his hands. Her hair wrapped around his fist and neck stretched out to meet his lips. Her back arching, taunt and pushed passed her breaking point. He needed to watch her face as she shattered below him, over him, around him. Needed to find that small spot of icing or batter she missed in her shower, because she _always_ missed some spot.

Fuck, her needed her _now_.

Burying his face into her dark blonde hair, the strands felt impossible soft against the rough texture of his scruff. The prickliness causing a few to get caught as she slowly pulled her head away to lay it back on his shoulder. The sight of her lips slightly parted filled the missing feeling of her hair on his face.

A pinkish color mouth that looked like a bow. The top lip was slightly thinner and curved down in the middle causing it to fit perfectly into the fuller bottom lip that curved down in the middle as well.

He had never wanted to play with a bow more in his life then right in this moment. His fingers itching to trace the lines. His own lips craving to make them stutter and bruise under his.

Her every breath echoed through his chest. Her eyes closed and he didn't know if he loved that she was so into this that she had to close them or wanted her to open them to see her expression fully. Then her eyes slowly opened to half-mast. Looking up she caught his gaze.

Fuck, he needed her eye's to stay open like that for the rest of his life.

The clouded lust that stared back at him was paralyzing. The color of warm whiskey doused in old gold shook him to the core. His mouth dropping slightly as they turned even darker, glittering in the lights as they drew him in. Lids heavy with want, the look she gave him was dripping with want. He was pretty sure there was nothing sexier then that.

Then a quiet moan filled his ears. Her lips slightly trembling as she made the sound. Deep from her throat it sounded as if it had been _dragged out_. A sound she didn't want to make but _couldn't_ help it. Just a bit raspy it fit in with the feeling of the bar and caused shivers to run down his back.

_Fuck_

-Kahea's POV-

Though Clint seemed to be dragged deeper into the mist, Kahea was wakened. The small sound served as a wake up call as she suddenly tensed against the sharpshooter.

Unfortunately tensing up against him did nothing to stop her from feeling the shivers running down him. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and lifted her head from his shoulder. Strange thing was she couldn't explain how it got there, or how it felt so much heavier then usual. She had finally dragged her head all the way up when Clint decided to turn her.

Whiskey gold meeting midnight blue, their eyes clashed and sparks flew. Pulling her closer inch by inch, Clint held her gaze. Never once blinking he was weaving a spell that was effectively shutting down all the thoughts as to why this was a bad idea. Another small moan left her mouth.

Damn, she _had_ to stop doing that. Watching his eyes go impossibly dark she bit her lip. Probably not a good idea since he dragged his line of sight down to take in the light marks she had made on it.

Another deep breathe, those laser eyes seemed to be totally zeroed in on her mouth. Waiting, watching, commanding them to meet his. Her chest brushed his and she was afraid he could hear her heart pounding. Then, he leaned down and placed his lips on her neck. Not exactly kissing them, more of a brush meant to make her nerves tingle and spark. Like the open ends to live wire her whole body was pulsing.

She didn't need to worry about her heart pounding anymore.

No, her heart wasn't pounding, it was completely _stopped_.

_It wasn't even a real kiss!_

The thought of how paralyzing his actual kisses could become was like a bucket of ice water to her veins.

She liked kissing, loved any kind of physical contact really. She had always been a physical person. Any relationship she had would show it. Holding hands with a boyfriend, an arm slung around a friend's should, hugs were freely given. She didn't go over board but she was a pretty tactile person.

A big reason as to why she didn't get drunk is because she was afraid of what or _whom_ she would do if she wasn't in control. She could count on one hand how many guys she had hooked up with. Even less fingers were needed to count how many she slept with.

She had never had a one-night stand, _ever_.

Now, Kahea didn't mind other people having one-night stands, but she just wasn't able to do it. Being the only one of her friends to feel that way she was sometimes thought to be snobbish, but she really had no problem with other people personal lives. Though she wouldn't hold back if some one's actions were becoming particularly slutty, men or women.

But sex meant something to her. She had only slept with boyfriends, ones that she was in love with at the time. Having fewer partners didn't make her a prude, just made her a bit more careful. Besides, she had rules, good rules. One's that kept her from completely moving over to the slutty side.

Because let face it if she started she would have a hard time stopping. Plus, the dark side didn't offer cookies, just S. with a side of long waiting at the free clinic.

She had always been able to stay with her beliefs. Not that she was never tempted. It had just happened this quickly or this _strongly_. She had left her apartment ready for some fun but not this kind of fun.

Sure, the man in purple and black had caught her eye. Yes, she did harbor a bit of a crush. So what? She _knew_ nothing would come from it. He was older, literally saved the world on a daily bases, smart, funny, and blindingly gorgeous. The only other man more out of her league was probably Han Solo and that's because he is _fictional_.

So the fact that all it took was some dinky bar, a soul shaking song, and his attention on her to break down some pretty beefed up defenses was mind numbing and not in a good way.

Pulling away from him was like trying to swim through molasses. Her body was screaming for her to just let him have his way with her. She kept pulling though. Feeling cold and somewhat empty when she finally pulled free. He was her friend, would be a big part of her life, as would the rest of the Avengers. She might have only met them a couple of weeks ago but she already knew they would make an impact.

So, as good as a night with him would be, as mind blazingly hot it would probably have gotten; she just couldn't do it.

Taking another step back she looked back into his eyes. Praying he wouldn't be mad. Asking him silently to understand.

Especially since she wasn't fully sure what was going on herself.

-Clint's POV-

As Kahea pulled away Clint couldn't help but take a step towards her. Trying to close the space she created. He had to stop himself from pulling her back towards him.

He couldn't lie. He was slightly confused as to what made her back off. One moment she was just as enthralled as he was and the next she was rigid, almost cold alongside him. Her eyes casted down at first he tried to gather some kind of thought before she raised them to meet his. It wasn't until she let those golden eyes grace his vision again that he understood.

There was something there a lot stronger then they had both anticipated and it scared the ever loving _shit_ out of her.

Tony had done an _extensive_ background check before even hiring her. Tunneling even deeper when she showed up in their kitchen and effectively into their lives.

Clint knew about the sparse romantic connections. He knew about the absolute zero amount of any kind of hook up she had.

Thinking back on it, Tony's ability to access some one's life so easily was creepy.

Clint reluctantly let her pull farther away until all that was left touching was their hands. He shouldn't have acted on the feelings coursing through him. She was one of the few civilians that everyone had admitted to liking. She had been slowly taken into the folds not just because they were wary, but also because she was to. He knew she had been hurt badly in the past.

Thank you creepy Tony.

Though she had family they were one the other side of the country and she was alone out here. She might make friends easy but she rarely let people past the first line of protection. Clint knew she was going to mean something life changing to him. He knew it in his bones.

So he let her lead him off the floor. Let he walk a few steps ahead and made an unspoken promise to let what happened on the dance floor go. He let her walk back to the table with the rest of the group with out protest.

Even if his body, his soul, was _demanding _that he crush her back against him. That he lay claim to her for all to see.

_Fuck_ if that thought didn't give him a small heart attack. Heart attack or not he wasn't letting go of her hand.

He might not crush her to him but Clint sure as hell wasn't letting any other guy get the chance to.

So as the sat down at the table he pulled her chair closer and settled a hand on her thigh. Ignoring glances from both her and the rest of the Avengers Clint slung an arm around the back of her chair. His fingers wove themselves back into her hair.

Yeah, she might have stopped them this time, for good reason he was sure, but Clint he decided the moment she pulled away that he would do anything to get her to come back. There was something between them. Something he hadn't felt in a long time and never had it started up so strongly or so suddenly. So Clint decided he was going to treat this the way he did in battle when the building he was on was blown apart around him.

He was going to jump with out looking and hope something or _some one_ would be able to catch him before hit the ground. He was called Hawkeye for a reason. His teammates did have to give him lectures about his random acts of flying for a reason.

He just hoped Kahea wasn't afraid of heights because she was already tip toeing around the ledge. So maybe she needed a push; Clint definitely didn't mind being the one to do it. Sometimes the pushing and pulling was the best part.

Though Clint had a feeling fight might be amazing, yet the actual jump would be mind blowing.

So giving Kahea a smirk and brushing her hair aside to whisper a comment about the others against her skin, Clint made his move. Breathing in her scent and brushing his lips against her ear he made a _promise_.

Yeah Kahea James, he might push you over the edge but Clint Barton would be holding your hand and falling right there next to you.


	9. Miles that have Torn Us Apart

**Hello my lovelies! This is my favorite chapter I have written to so far. I love being able to share my story and the positive feedback I am getting is really wonderful! So please review or pm if you have any critics or questions! Thank you for reading and as always I hope you enjoy it! **

**P.S Title goes to the amazing Amos Lee, "Windows Are Rolled Down", I imagine that Kahea listened to this a lot when she first got on the road.**

**I DO NOT OWN THE AVENGERS, I do own the rest so ya know. Mine! haha**

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><p><strong>Miles that have Torn Us Apart, My New found Faith and My Broken Heart <strong>

Walking down the sidewalk was not the most comfortable situation that Tony had ever been a part of.

Definitely wasn't one of the most uncomfortable situations either.

That was saved for July 9th, 2006.

We _never_ speak about July 9th, 2006.

Watching as the rug-rat fought sleep in his mom's arms was actually pretty damn cute. The kid would be talking fifty miles an hour just to start mumbling, eyes closing, before shaking himself awake and talking even faster. He couldn't help but smirk when Caden decided the shaking wasn't working.

One of the Avengers would have to hold him and since Tony, or "Mister Iron Man", was the farthest away from his mom's calming presences could he please hold him?

Yeah, this kid had the Barton puppy dog eyes. Well that sure as fuck meant he was getting anything he wanted.

So even though Tony couldn't remember last time he held a kid, _if he ever did_, he picked up Caden.

It was surprising how light the kid was. Didn't people always complain about how kids were heavier then they looked? Then again the kid was scrawny, or maybe wiry was a better word for all that undercover muscle the kid possessed. Caden held on tightly. Small arms wrapped around his neck and legs hanging by Tony's hips. A smile soon claimed both participants' faces.

It was in that moment he knew he had a troublemaker in arms.

Holding the tike was _just_ as scary as it was amazing though. Tony had a hard time knowing how tightly to hold him. Not wanting to create a Caden pulp, Tony also didn't want to create a Caden pancake by dropping him either.

He could see the smirk on Kahea's face from the corner of his eye. Watching him struggle at first for a grip only to loosen it when Caden shot him a small wince. He prayed to who ever the hell was up there that Clint wouldn't notice it.

Of course Tony was a straight up _sinner _and the prayer went unanswered as Clint sent a deathly glare his way. A slight shiver went down Tony's spine.

"Cold mister? I gots a jacket in my bag. Mom says even though it's summer it still gets cold at night so I got to wear a jacket sometimes". Looking at Tony as if he was the most put upon kid for this.

Tony of course couldn't help but nod in complete agreement. A sneaky look gracing his face as he leaned into Caden.

"Well you could always loose the jacket and then tell your mom that you can't wear it because you couldn't find it," he whispered loud enough for everyone else to hear it. Winking at the small boy in his arms.

"Well maybe I could pretend to lose it Mister Iron Man cause this jacket was espenive and mom had to work _two_ shifts for it! Cause see it has you, Cap, Hulk, and Hawkeye on it! Plus it got boring stuff like being waterproof and its gots a hood and a removable liner. I gots only the liner in my bag not the whole thing. It absolutely my favorite jacket and mom brought it for my birthday last year. She said I could only have it if I took good care of it. It's why she brought it big to so's I can fit in it for a couple years too."

Tony's smirk fell off his face as he turned his head to look at Kahea. Her face was red enough for everyone to see the blush under the streetlights. He knew she had to have it hard but not _this_ hard. The boy's actual protest showing how bad it got more then the actual words. What five-year-old boy had to _worry_ about keeping his coat _nice_?

A boy that had to watch his mom work harder then she should. A boy whose mom drilled into how important it was to make things last.

Tony rearranged his face to show his most arrogant expression. "No worries mini hawk I will just buy you a new one. Fuuuu-fudge I will just make you a new one."

The major shade Kahea threw him made Tony think that cursing was _definitely_ not allowed.

Well, fuck.

He was serious about the coat through. Hell, the _whole damn fashion world_ was about to bow down to its newest muse, Caden Fletcher.

-Steve's POV-

Steve stayed quiet during the walk to Kahea's house. Already having sometime with the pistol whipper, he thought it would be good for the others to get a feel for the small boy.

He cringed when he heard Caden's answer to Tony's question though.

Growing up in the Depression had been bleak. He knew what it meant to stretch every last cent till it _screamed_ for mercy. Sawdust cakes and milk that was so water down it was almost clear, left a lasting taste in his mouth. He _never_ even had chocolate until he was in his twenties, right before the war started.

He had heard the speeches from his mom, begging him to just be careful with those pants, patched till they literally fell apart. Shoes pinching his toes or stuffing newspaper into them.

Steve _still_ had a hard time spending money and tended to wear something until it was falling apart at the seams. Even then sometimes he would sit at night and sew while listening to some podcast or audio accounts of historical events.

Steve _literally_ tried to shake the thoughts out of his head as the stopped in front of a small single house. A stone pathway cut a perfectly mowed lawn in half. Bushes, flowers, and a Cherry Blossom Weeping Willow almost hid the door from view. The only bit visible were some large windows that promised a whole lot of natural light shone through the house.

The men waited quietly as Kahea walked up the path. She didn't notice they weren't following her until she unlocked the front door and stepped aside for them to enter. A quick nod of her head was all it took for them to lumber in.

Steve immediately understood why she chose the small house. An almost completely open floor plan made the house feel more like a tree house. Windows were everywhere, curtains open. Trees giving them the privacy that the windows didn't, branches wove in and out, leaves light enough to let the sunshine and moonlight in.

Kahea turned on some lights. The room was made up of a kitchen, dining room and TV/play room. The walls where eye catching colors. Pastels and jeweled tones that opened up the space even more. Each wall claimed a different color, blues, purples, yellows, greens, grays, and one wall that featured blackboard paint.

The playroom/ TV room was the first area in the house. It was slightly closed off from the kitchen by a breakfast bar. The TV's back was to a window and the couch was slide under the bar. The furniture was old but had "character" Steve would say. Mismatched it seemed to fit in an entirely quirky way.

The other wall was cut in half by a few organized tubs of toys and small bookcase sticking out from the wall near a corner, creating a close off space complete with a small rug. The shelves took up a very small space so that little hands could reach the chalkboard painted wall behind. Scribbles, notes, and detailed drawings covered it from corner to corner.

Wooden floors lead to the kitchen and a back door. Bright oranges, yellows, and calm creams created a vibrant space. Silver appliances looked clean but worn. The kitchen took up almost the whole back corner of the house. A small space was used for a place to eat. A dark wood table stood under a light fixture. The wall boasted black and white pictures of Caden eating through out his life. The pictures flowed to create a timeline of sorts.

Steve's favorite was the picture of Caden during a birthday. The small baby was sitting in a highchair and icing covered a smile that took up his whole face. A piece of cake mashed in his hair.

A small hallway led to the bedrooms Steve guessed.

Kahea had made a home here. It _hurt_ Steve to realize it was a life without them in it. He could imagine a preteen asking for help on homework at that wooden table. He could see them celebrating birthdays, holidays, and just any day in the snug house. He hadn't seen the backyard but he could bet it was just as taken care of and just as homey as the rest of the place. Steve could just see her cooking breakfast, dinner and everything in between. Dancing to whatever was on the radio and dragging a very reluctant teenage Caden to his feet to join.

Kahea was struggling but just like his mom; she was strong enough to_ live_ not just _survive_.

She was strong enough to provide the best life for her son and be willing to see the joy in life no matter how hard life was for her.

Yes, it was a small home, BUT it was still a _home_.

One glance at Clint's face told Steve he had noticed the same thing. Missing Clint or not, Kahea had determined to fight fate and move on. At least move on as much as she could.

-Clint's POV-

He didn't know what he quite expected when he walked through her house but it fit her. The colors that were never supposed to work together, did. Mix-match furniture somehow didn't clash and the openness of the place just screamed Kahea. Looking up he noticed that the ceiling was pointed and naked beams ran parallel from the main walls. That was a bit of a surprise.

A memory suddenly crowded his brain, _unwilling_ to be pushed back in a box.

Fall air, the crisp scent of spices from her coffee, feet swinging slowly to the music playing in just her head. The way her hat kept tilting a bit to the right, the way her cheeks became the most appealing shade of red, how he couldn't help but lean slightly closer every time she opened her mouth. Talking about living somewhere other then here, anywhere in the world, eyes sparkling and her voice happy and light. He remembered oranges, reds, and greenish yellows, the sound of crackling leaves and the smell of grass that had been cut for the last time before snowfall.

But most of all he remembered her agreeing to a "hawk nest" as long as the beams where old oak and she could have a rope ladder to join him once and awhile.

His eyes focused quickly, a hook in the wall that held up a small rope ladder.

"I had to once Caden learned he could climb. I found him half way up one day and I swear I lost twenty years of my life right then."

Clint's head whipped around at the soft sound of her voice. A small, sad smile graced her face and her eyes where _just _as far away as his had been only seconds before.

"He likes to be up high. He sees the world so different from me sometimes I would be _afraid_ to be left on the ground while he soared away." Her voice now taking on a watery tone. With a shake of her head she let out a brittle laugh. "He has so much, just so much_ something_, that sometimes I just wanted to get up high to see if I could catch a glimpse of what he saw, what _you_ saw, I hoped I would grow wings to."

Watching her watch _their _son was confusing, beautiful, angering, amazing, and so distracting all at once. He had never been so overwhelmed be feelings before but as his eyes met their son's he knew it was more then worth it.

_Their_ son.

Hell, he hadn't thought of it that way. He had thought of Caden as either his son or hers but never theirs. How was this suppose to work? How was he suppose to feel? Because right now he felt as though someone was scrambling his brain, punching his gut, and trying to kiss him all at the same time. He knew he was emotionally stunted but this was fucking _insane_.

He had a kid, a boy, a _son_, with Kahea James and now that that got through his thick skull now he just had to figure out how to deal with it.

Clint's eyes finally traveled back to the boy in question when Caden started to show Tony and Bruce his Iron Man and Hulk action figure. The men where each handed a small likeness of themselves and Caden almost fell in the tub looking for his Captain America doll to hand to Steve. Clint had to smile a little at the boy's eagerness to reassure Steve that he wasn't left out.

Caden righted himself and walked towards Steve, the toy held tightly in his grip.

"You always try to see the good in people and yous got an awesome shield that you can throw like a bijllion miles an hour! I mean I wanted to learn to do that to but my teacher said I was to small and I gots to get bigger. I can shoot arrows cause they gots special bows but they don't get every far sometimes but when I get older and super strong like yous guys I will be able to make my arrows go far annnnddd throw a shield like you." Caden smiled after explaining why he liked red, white, and blue loving captain. "But Hawkeye is my all time favorite", he said shrugging as if saying he wasn't sorry he liked Clint better.

Clint smiled at the thought but frowned when he noticed Caden wasn't handing him a toy.

"Hey handsome I think some one is feeling left out", Kahea tried to not to laugh. She tried to hide it but Clint heard it and sent a glare her way, making her giggle a bit harder.

Caden's eyes got big as he hurried over to take Clint's hand. Dragging him down the hall and into what was _definitely_ a little boy's room.

-Kahea's POV-

Kahea was extremely proud of her son's room. It _was_ pretty amazing.

The floor was covered in an almost bounce, soft, light grey, rubber material instead of carpet or wood. With Caden jumping around every second of every day she though it would be best to be a bit safer when it came to his private room. His bed was close to the floor so even if he fell it was only a couple inches of a drop.

Caden had been disappointed at not getting a bunk or loft bed (stupid higher-is-better D.N.A) until she shelled out some extra cash and surprised him with it for his birthday. The bed was a dark purple car and styled like a vintage Mustang. The grey of the floor almost made it street like and Caden loved to pretend he was racing from one crisis to another saving millions of people.

The walls were painted to follow the path of the sun filtering through the forest. Each wall decorated to match, sunrise, high sun, twilight, and sunset. The artwork was beautiful and the trees really looked like they were moving in a never-ending breeze, sunlight seeming to filter through and fill the room even at night.

The ceiling was both she and Caden's favorite part of the room though.

Painted to resemble the night sky. Blues, blacks, grays, and even a little purple swirled together creating a stunning effect. Stars shined down creating a soft glow or light burst depending on how bright Caden needed it to be thanks to some very clever wiring.

The art in the room was a surprise for both Caden and Kahea. Pappy had done it himself when the small family had going to the cabin for a long weekend.

"Well I needed to give ya a house warming present anyway princess and I knew you would have wanted this room done before any other. Would have only excepted this room at least." Pappy had been gruff in the delivery but his eyes _begged_ her not to make a big deal about it.

Kahea didn't until she found out he did the painting and wiring himself. Didn't hire anyone like he led her to believe. He earned a huge hug and a tear stained shirt for that one.

Kahea was pushed into the present by the clang of toys being thrown around. Caden had run to the other side of the room where a small bookcase and large clear case where. The bookcase held favorite action figures and books. The clear case held some of his trophies, first bow, and the first arrow that hit the dead center of the target as well as the print out of the target. His little hands pushing books aside to get to his safe box. Pulling it out he ran back and climbed on to his bed, opening it to reveal his first ever Hawkeye action figure.

Kahea felt he heart twist as she watched as Clint slowly realized what the boy was holding.

A long time ago Clint had jokingly gave her that very same toy to hold whenever he had to go away for a mission. Claiming the fact that nothing about him was soft he had handed her the hard plastic. Showing her the way it was different from every other Hawkeye toy.

The mask came off to reveal his identity.

Clint never wanted her to think he was any one other then himself when he was with her. He wasn't a super hero or an agent, wasn't Hawkeye or Barton. He was Clint with her; he claimed he always would be.

Those first few weeks she ran away the toy was always near her. It stayed in her purse, backpack or hand, helping to chase away the monsters and insecurities that she couldn't do it.

How ironic that the reason she _left_ was the same one she turned to _protect _her on the road.

Watching Caden reverently pick up the toy to show Clint scared her. She was afraid Clint would see how much of a hold he still held.

Yes, she would stay away from Clint to protect her son, happily in fact. Because staying away from Clint meant that heartbreak would never happen again.

There would be no _new_ heartbreak because she couldn't give away what she didn't _have_.

There would be no chance of old heartbreak because Clint wasn't _there_ to hurt her.

Oh yes, Kahea James might still love Clint Barton but in no way did she _trust_ him.

Yet now, here he was. Holding a toy that should have been thrown out as soon as she hit the road. A toy that was held on to and passes down to _their _son to chase away the monsters.

Clint might not have been aware of his son's existents but he was protecting Caden since before his first breath. Protecting them _both_ from the harshness of the world around them.

Because no matter how far she ran away, Kahea James would always _love_ Clint.

Kahea James would always be a little _stronger_ because of him.

For better or worse Kahea James would _always_ be affected by Clint Barton.

To bad she had no idea that _she_ would always affect Clint Barton as well.


	10. I Know how this Feels

**Hello readers! This week has been so crazy for me. This story is becoming something of a mini get away and I am glad you all enjoy it as much as I do! It's my longest chapter yet so hopefully you all will be excited about it. Have fun. **

**I DO NOT OWN THE AVENGERS OR THE TITLE (Jake Epstein "Rescue You") but I DO OWN KAHEA AND THE REST!**

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><p><strong>I Know how this Feels, When the Wounds don't want to Heal<strong>

-Clint's POV-

Clint held the small toy gingerly. Looking at the small likeness he had to gulp down a lump in his throat. _Godamnitalltofuckinghell_ he thought he was done with these coughing fits. This kid had to stop doing/ saying something and just causing him to breakdown _again_. Eyes hyper focused on Caden, Clint tried to catch a breath.

Caden, of course, seemed completely unaware he was killing his favorite hero. Instead he was rambling on about why the toy was in a safe in place of being on his bed.

"Well Mister Hawkeye, mom said you had to be hidden so no one else would find you and steal you. Cause you mask comes off and mom said that you could get hurted if the wrong peoples got ya and I couldn't getcha hurt Mister Hawkeye! But its okay cause mom said you could keep me safe no matter where you were, that all I had to do was think of you and BOOM! You get all the monsters. Plus every one knows the worst monsters are in the closet. So I HAD to put you there so it would be easier for you to get them. So mom got me Tigger to snuggle and sleep with instead. He is soft and likes to bounce around just like me!"

Caden spoke the last words over his shoulder as he climbed behind Clint and grabbed a very well worn stuff animal. Thrusting the toy almost the same way he thrusted the action figure Clint made a quick grab before Tigger could fall to the floor. Thoughts raced through his head. Trying to keep his face calm was getting harder and harder. He _needed_ answers damn it!

He needed to know why she had built him up so much. Why did she teach Caden to look to him as a protector? She ran the fuck _away_ but she let their kid fucking worship him?

_How the fuck did that make any fucking sense?!_

Also his kid needed to stop calling him mister _RIGHT FUCKING NOW_!

Caden stared at him. His small hand curling around Clint's much bigger one, squeezing it three times. Automatically Clint squeezed three times back.

Kahea had told him that her family had done it to reassure each other of the love, commitment, or just to show that they were _there_ for one another. She had done whenever she felt that Clint was to tense or lost in thought, randomly to make him smile.

Caden smiled and turned Clint's hand over. Tracing the blistered, torn, scarred, and rough skin Caden put his hand right next to Clint's. Their hands were _so similar_, only the size and various scaring distinguishing them. They shared some blister placement as well as the same rough skin patches though. Clint figured it was from archery and climbing around they both did so much.

He had the sudden urge to see all of Caden's scars and scratches. He wanted to _know_ how Caden had gotten the small white line that wrapped around the thumb on his left hand, where he had gotten the faded cut on his palm. Did he get them from not being careful enough around arrows or from branches on a tree?

All these thoughts swirled around him until Caden to yawn. While Clint had been losing his fight over his calm Caden seemed to be losing his fight over staying awake.

"You aren't mad right Mister Hawkeye? That I kept you in a box. You isn't mad right?"

Picking Caden up and settling him in his lap he _couldn't_ help but rub his face against the top of his son's head. Breathing in the scent of green apple and bubble gum Clint was hard pressed to think of a scent he found anymore _calming_. Forgetting about anyone else in the room Clint dropped a kiss on the top of Caden's head. Clint smiled as he finally let some of what he felt show on his face.

Nose still in his son's hair he listened as Caden's breaths almost evened out. Putting his thumb under the small boy's chin he lifted his face to meet his own. Wanting, _needing_, Caden to hear and see how serious he was Clint's voice came out clear and strong. Wanted to make sure he was awake enough to understand him.

"No kid, I am glad you were able to keep me safe. Besides you mom's right. You would just have to _think_ of me and I would have come running. No matter where or what I was doing. _I promise Caden. I would, I will, protect you._"

For someone who was emotionally stunted and had trouble even admitting his feelings to himself, Clint was pretty clear about this.

Yes, he had a lot of questions. Kahea and him were going to have a very long talk. Of course he was still reeling about the kid. _Fuck_ he still was having a heart attack about how he would be as a father. But the one thing he was clear on?

Caden Fletcher had a father, _him._ Clint Barton was going to do everything he could to be in his son's life. He would never let him grow up like he, Tony, Bruce, or Steve had.

Damn, they were a sorry crew when it came to fathers.

-Bruce's POV-

Bruce silently agreed with Clint. Watching as Caden slowly fell asleep in his arms Bruce made a promise to protect this child above all. By the expressions on Tony and Steve's faces they agreed as well. Some quick eye contact between them confirmed the fact. Caden Fletcher _would_ be the best-guarded child in the world.

Bruce glanced at Kahea to see tears in her eyes. She quickly brushed away any that fell but Bruce could see her struggle to hold them back. He wondered what she thought of all this. Wondered if she was relieved or scared, happy or worried about the intrusion in her life. Bruce knew they, Clint especially, had every right to intrude but he still wondered.

Kahea had always let the happy emotions shine through while keeping anything that bothered her locked away. He _knew_ she didn't like other people seeing her weak and right now she was very vulnerable.

Rustling brought his attention back to Clint. Laying the sleeping boy in his bed Clint looked slightly confused at what to do next. Kahea moved forward, taking the blanket at the foot of the bed and tucking him in. Placing the loved Tigger next to the boy she motioned for them to walk out of the room quietly. Leaving a lingering kiss on her son's forehead she soon followed. Leading them to the kitchen she leaned her back on the counter.

Bruce had a feeling that she was here a lot. The place was worn but not dirty. A counter ran along the back wall, the sink and stove apart of it. One side lead to the fridge and the other lead to backdoor. The counter was a dark wood as were the cabinets above it. The wall space that separated them was a muted orange. A mosaic of a sunrise sat above the sink.

The island in the middle was also a dark wood but the top was covered but a thick cutting block. The appliances were steel. On the other side of the back door ran a pale yellow wall.

Wooden palates were nailed on backwards to hold different herbs, spices, and small vegetables. Under the palates where selves that held large clear jars of what looked to be flour, different sugars, and cereals. The breakfast bar ran next to the fridge, chair lined on the other side. It gave the home chef a little privacy for when she cooked as well as a place of an energetic boy to eat before starting his day.

Bruce took this all in. Kahea would make a kitchen seem cozy and open at the same time. The pictures on the dining room wall that the kitchen was opened to helped. The drawings on the fridge did a lot to help as well. Walking closer to see the scribbles he noticed a chart hanging there as well. Simple chores like brushing his teeth, eating his vegetables, and doing well in school as well as other things were blocked in. Stickers, red marks, and empty spaces made Bruce smile a bit.

Caden seemed to do well in helping others but his ability to clean up after himself seemed to be majorly lacking.

Like father like son.

"It's funny he can remember when it's bath night so he can stay up a little later playing in the tub. Yet some how he always forgets to brush his teeth." Kahea let out a small giggle, eyes giving him a small glimpse of the sparkle she use to always shine with.

Straightening up Bruce smiled back. He nodded when she got out some tea from the cabinet under the counter, tilting the box his way. Staying busy she turned the kettle on and then brought the coffee maker out. Bruce noticed that everything else might look second hand but the coffee machine. Kahea always did love her coffee. He didn't even notice what was behind it until Tony spoke up.

"I thought you might have taken that thing with you," he said pointing to the bright teal standup mixer behind it. She shrugged closing the door and leaving the question unanswered. It wasn't until every one had a cup of coffee or tea in front of them; she even remembered how each man took it, and a plate of cookies on the table before she sat down.

A cup of coffee in between her own hands Bruce couldn't help but wonder if she thought it would help hide the way her hands were shaking.

_It didn't_.

-Kahea's POV-

She took a deep breath. Trying hard to get her emotions under control Kahea let the silence go on for a few more minutes. She was finally coming off her second wind and was now just bone tired. She was use to not sleeping very well but after running into Clint just a few days ago she lost the ability to sleep all together. She was running on empty and the talks she knew were ahead of her weren't helping the headache she had been having since he rushed back into her life either.

Kahea knew this was hard on Clint, hard on all the boys. Don't think she didn't notice that she would have to do this all over again when a certain god of thunder came back from whatever realm he was in. She knew she played a part in this, a bad part. She just wanted to be a _bit_ more selfish and wait till tomorrow to start the fighting. Though even with all the worry about her and Caden's future she still felt a weight lift off her chest.

A weight that had been present since the moment she decided to leave. One that got heavier with ever day, night, holiday, and birthday of Caden's that Clint missed. She was _truly_ sorry that he had missed so much of the boy's life.

She _was_ sorry, but she wouldn't have changed her decision. She left for a reason. She left to give Caden and herself a better life. Not a richer life per say but a _better_ one.

Kahea took a deep breath and quickly glanced at the men around her. They looked tired as well. One would think it was because of all the physical work they had been doing as well as the whole super hero-ing. She knew better though. They would take facing a thousand different armies from a thousand different planets, before handling anything even remotely emotional. If it was any more emotional then the season finale of some TV show it was off the table.

Noticing the way they seemed to be unable to keep still put a smile on her face. No matter what some one was always moving. Staying still was only an option when they were in mission mode. Otherwise it just didn't happen, ADHD had nothing on them.

Tony was tracing random patterns on the table with his finger. Probably some ultra genius equation that he wasn't even fully aware he was solving. Bruce was still at the fridge and twisting the string on his tea bag. Steve was alternating between rubbing his pant leg and slowly spinning his coffee mug. Clint was bending the spoon that was in the sugar bowl. Twisting and turning it until it would become some kind of weapon she was sure.

"He was born on June 21st and he is almost five. Which you probably figured out. He was born with black hair that fell out and left him with a bit of blonde peach fuzz for a year." Kahea smiled gently at the thought, eyes staring at the wall in front of her. "I called him q-ball for awhile, he still has no idea why." Another small laugh left her mouth.

"He is very smart but has some small learning disabilities. Things like dyslexia, a slight reading deficiency, a form of ADHD, and a few other interconnected things. He does take extra time to do written schoolwork but show him how to do something once and he can mimic you step for step. He was walking by 9 months and talking by 10. Once he started he hasn't really stopped. I think you can guess what his favorite colors are. Other then being a superhero Caden likes to play with any animal he comes across. I swear he can understand them."

-Clint's POV-

Clint drank Kahea's words up. Eyes watching her lips move, he didn't want to miss anything. He just sat quietly as she kept talking about Caden. The others didn't interrupt her either. A small laugh was pulled from Tony at the q-ball comment and he was sure Bruce would want to follow up on the learning disabilities. All he could do was listen as she gave him an overview of his _own_ son. Angering was starting to build with every comment about Caden she made.

He should have been there! He shouldn't have to get the overview of _his own kid's life_.

"He isn't really a day or night time person as much as an anytime person. He falls asleep and wakes up instantly. He doesn't have a favorite season but he does like swimming more then sledding and fall colors more then spring flowers. I am pretty sure he has climbed almost every tree in the neighborhood. He hasn't had any broken bones but has gotten stitches and has an allergy to strawberries."

The fact that she just glossed over Caden's hurts _almost_ tipped Clint over. It was the comment about the allergy that seemed to have a story behind it made Clint finally launch out of his chair and start pacing.

"What the fuck? What the _actual fuck_ Kahea? I have a kid? A kid who is allergic to strawberries and has a scar around his thumb that I have no idea about! What the FUCK!"

Clint's voice got louder and louder, stopping in front of Kahea he slammed his hands down on the table. Steve's cup wobbled and Tony's fell completely off. Kahea looked calm though. She _didn't_ look scared, sorry, or even mad. She just kept a slightly blank look on her face; emotions evened keeled.

Well that had to fucking _change_.

"When did you become such a frigid _bitch_ that you would keep a son from his father? Are you so bitter that you would take it out on the kid?"

Clint watched as her face morphed within a blink of an eye. He _knew_ he had crossed a line. There was no actual evidence that she had been anything but loving towards Caden. She was probably the best mom there was but Clint was so angry he had to lash out. He was so hurt that he _needed_ her at his level.

"Did you sleep well knowing another kid would never know his dad? Because it looks like you were never going to say anything! Or were you going to wait till he was older to show up at the tower and dump him on me?"

Kahea moved so quickly that her chair flung across the floor. She was around the table and in his face within a second. Her voice deadly calm as she dug a finger into his chest.

"Listen here Barton, you _will_ keep your voice down do you understand? There is a boy not to far away who will _not_ be awaken by shouts of how his mother will just _abandon_ him. I don't care how angry or hurt you are you will be quiet." She glared at him so strongly that he wanted to check his eyebrows to see if the were singed from proximity.

"You have a right to be angry and hurt but you _will not_ drag my love for Caden into it. You will never say something as cruel and crude in front of him. God help you if you EVER even think I wanted anything less than the best for _my_ son do you understand?"

Clint could feel her finger jabbing further and further into his skin with each word. As clouded as he was it _surprised_ him a bit that she had no problem getting in his face. She might be mad, even hurt, but she wasn't scared. Not even a little bit.

Then again she never did have any self-preservation skills. He learned that after she ran into a room the Hulk was in so she could introduce herself and offer the big green _cookies_ if he calmed down.

-Steve's POV-

His eyes were wide as he took in the scene in front of him. Coffee forgotten, fingers gripping the edges of the table, he hoped he wouldn't leave marks. Steve had _never_ really seen Clint act like this. The words coming out of his mouth were made to cut to the bone. Aim as well as ever it seemed like. Each statement was a killing blow.

Kahea wasn't backing down though. If anything Clint's words were making her _stronger._ It was as if every sound he made was just turned into another piece of armor. Gone were the nerves. All of the sudden a strength beyond anything he had ever seen admitted from her.

It was obvious that she took some of the blame but she wasn't letting Clint back her into a corner. Instead she was giving better then she got. She was keeping an even head no matter _what_ Clint was trying to pull.

That surprised Steve. Of course she had been calmer then most people he met. Her words weren't meant to hurt or calm down. She knew he had a right to be mad and confused. She didn't try to argue her point, just tried to _protect_ her son from words that could really hurt him.

Words that were spoken out of hurt more then thought. Words that could do a lot more damaged to the sleeping child in the next room then the person they were aimed at.

Braver then most as well, the way they met was a testament. The way she didn't seem scared for a _second_ when the rest of team were on silent alert backed up the statement as well. Bruce was now leaning silently against the sink, cup out of his hand. Tony was out of his chair and leaning on the wall that Clint paced along. The coffee cup was still on the floor and Steve couldn't help but sigh at the mess. It was obvious that Tony wasn't going to clean it up and Steve didn't want to break the intense staring contest Kahea and Clint were having.

The boys looked relaxed but slightly white knuckle and hardened gazes gave them away. No one thought Clint would _truly_ lash out physically but the pacing was not a good sign. Clint went silent and still when angry. Sniper and who-knows-what-else kind of training had taught him to keep his emotions under control. He was a shadow _not_ a pacer.

The moment he started pacing and yelling was a _big_ sign that his emotions were so chaotic that he couldn't get a handle on them. So yes, the boys were prepared. Kahea on the other hand, she was poking the bull while waving a red flag right in front of it.

"Now sit down and act like an adult for once in your life Barton!"

Yeah, she definitely wasn't backing down.

-Tony's POV-

Tony almost expected a slow clap to start as Clint finally listened. Well, kind of listened. He didn't sit down but he did lean against a wall next to Tony and nodded. For Barton that was pretty much a white flag or _at least_ a truce.

"I need a napkin, maybe a shower. Please tell me you have at least a showerhead with three massage settings." Tony shrugged as the others stared at him. "I have coffee turning into a sticky mess where it shouldn't be sticky. Well at least not with out Pepper being here." Tony's smirk was a little bit more then _slightly_ dirty.

Kahea's eyebrows furrowed. He could tell she was still confused. The way the others continued to stay silent he could tell they weren't getting it either. But hey, at least the tension had died down.

"I have delicate skin and I don't want it peeled away from the water pressure being to high or not getting clean enough from it being to low. You do have a shower right? Not like a watering hole the community bathes and washes clothes in right?"

Kahea laughed, shaking her head as if she thought he was joking. Which, he was.

Kind of.

"Yes Tony I do have a shower. I am not sure about the settings it came with the house and other then to clean it I don't really touch it. I am guessing you guys are staying at the hotel across town?"

Tony nodded. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Clint get tense. She hadn't said he could use her shower and Clint seemed to be taking that as a _bad_ sign. They had just got here she wasn't kicking them out already. They still had a talk to finish. Besides, she wouldn't make him walk all the way there with sticky pants.

_Right_?

As if she could read his mind she smirked. He _didn't_ like that smirk, he didn't like that glint in her eye either. Shouldn't she be _nice_ to the group? She did hide their kid from them for years. Well, hid Clint's kid from them but same difference.

"It doesn't matter you can stay here for the night if you want. The couch pulls out and we have an air mattress from when Pappy sleeps over. I have a ton of quilts and comforters, maybe some foam stuff to from when Caden's friends sleep over." She wasn't making any eye contact with them he noticed. Her words were spoken to the table as she got up to collect coffee cups.

Tony watched as she cleaned up the spill. Moving his feet to let her get all of it he just shrugged his shoulders when Steve glared at him. Tony did _not_ clean. Not unless it involved a shower, and sometimes Pepper.

He loved cleaning Pepper.

Clint just stood there, when he finally nodded Tony relaxed a little. Though even if Clint didn't stay he _would_ have.

He was chafing and just like cleaning Tony did _not _chafe.

Watching as Kahea finally moved out of the room he decided tonight was going to be _fun_. The kid was in the next room and Kahea was totally stressed out. Her stressed out meant there would be some kind of awesome bake goods in the morning. The more stressed out the more complicated the food.

Yup, he was going to have fun. Maybe break apart a few of the kid's toys and make some better ones. He at least had to make the toy Iron Man fly. Maybe make a few calls, video Pepper, order a whole new wardrobe for both the kid and his mom, throw in a couple dozen new toys.

Oh yeah, tonight will be a _lot_ of fun.


	11. Have a Seat upon this Branch of Mine,

**Hey lovelies! I am so so so sorry this is late but this week has been a complete mess! Between midterms, family in the hospital, and my little guy catching a cold it has been completely crazy! I could have posted Tuesday but I wasn't happy with the chapter at all and didn't want to be putting up something I wasn't proud of. Because of my lateness I will be adding a new chapter before Tuesday as well to apologize. Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait! **

**I do not own :Avengers or the title (Andrew Belle, "Oh My stars") but I do own the rest!**

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><p><strong>Have a Seat upon this Branch of Mine, It's been Awhile Honey <strong>

-Caden's POV-

Caden woke to the smell of pancakes, and not just any pancakes but _cinnamon cream cheese pancakes_. Those were his absolute _favorite_! Mom always let him lick the beater and add the sugar. Adding the sugar for the drizzle was the best part because little clouds of powdered sugar _always_ danced around his head. Plus mom always let him have a little bit so he could blow it out to make his own cloud.

As Caden ran into the kitchen he blindly jumped over the heaps of blankets in his way. Sometime if mom was tired or just wanted to tease him she would leave blankets around for him to jump or flip over, like a maze. As he went to jump over the last pile a body tripped him.

There was a body in the blankets and it _definitely_ wasn't Pappy! Everyone _knows_ Pappy sleeps on the air mattress.

Getting into fighting position right away Caden got ready to kick some butt. He had to protect his mom! Plus what if it was a _pancake_ robber!

No one was having _his_ super special favorite pancakes!

Before he could start punching the blankets fell away to reveal a very sleepy Captain America. Hands went to hips immediately as he leant a little forward to look Steve in the eye.

"Cap! I almost punched you in the _face_! You should not surprise a hero in train like that! I could have given you black eyes!" His little finger was waggling just like he had seen his mom do to him a thousand _bazillion_ times. "You should have left a note on my door like Pappy does so I don't jump on him. Wait, if you here does that mean you all had a sleep over with _out me_?"

Caden was ready to start majorly working the "boo-boo lip" as his mom called it. They were his favorite super hero's so how come his mom could stay up with them?

Before he could say another word his mom stepped out of the kitchen, beater in hand, waggling at _him_ this time.

"Oh no Caden Fletcher! You put that lip back in place. We went to bed pretty much right after you. Besides, your forgetting that if they slept over it means they are still here. Now, come help me these pancakes won't mix themselves you know."

Caden couldn't decide what he wanted to do more. On one hand there were pancakes to be made. On the other there were super heroes sleeping in his house! He was frozen in place. Then the smell of the pancakes hitting the griddle wafted through the house again.

Yeah, nope, super heroes would have to wait there was _glaze_ to be made.

"Okay Captain you are off the hook this time but next time I am telling my mom!"

With that comment Caden zoomed towards the kitchen counter. Not looking back to even see what Steve was laughing at. Pulling out his step stool with one hand he grabbed his apron with his other. It was his one of his favorite things because his mom designed it to look like Hawkeye's uniform. Caden couldn't wait to show Hawkeye.

"Mom do you think Hawkeye would like some of my pancakes? I will share if there isn't enough for everyone." Caden knew that sometimes at the end of the month money was a bit tight and mom needed to be careful on how much food she made.

"No, baby it's okay I have plenty for everyone. Pappy paid me extra for the show last night remember?" She ruffled his hair. Caden _hated_ it when she ruffled his hair.

Opening his mouth to tell her to stop, he quickly closed it when he saw the amount of pancakes in front of him.

"Woah, is there a party later today?" At the shake of his mom's head Caden narrowed his eyes. Who was suppose to eat all that food if no one else was coming over? He wasn't too sure he believed her.

Then he sat down at the table. Booster seat helping him to see over the table, he noticed how much each of the men put on their plate. Now he understood. Eyes wide he couldn't help but wonder where all the ingredients came from. He knew some of them were more expensive and he would how much Pappy paid his mom.

"You better eat it all! No left-overs or mommy will have ta give you a talk about eating with your eyes instead of your tummy!" Caden waved his fork to make sure they all understood he meant _business_!

-Steve's POV-

Steve smothered a laugh behind his hand. At the head of the table Caden made quite the little man. He couldn't help but smile at the way Kahea smirked and nodded her head in agreement. Those two where very close, made sense. It was them against the world for almost five years. Watching them was fascinating and seemed to light up the room even more.

Last night was _bad_ but she seemed to be good at keeping a front up in front of her son. Then again with how much worrying and stress she must have gone through, that made sense as well. She was probably use to not letting him she how worried she would get. Steve tried to keep those thoughts off his face. He did not need Tony asking him what made him so serious in the morning.

It was an easy task though. Caden was basking in the attention the men were giving him and music played in the back round so there was never a quiet moment. He wondered if that was a common thing or put just to make sure they wouldn't feel to uncomfortable at the table. The way Caden ignored it except to mumble along with different songs made Steve think it was an everyday thing.

Remembering what Kahea had said yesterday night about how the boy had ADHD Steve didn't question it. Caden seemed to be able to sit at the table just fine. The way his head bobbed to the music as he asked Bruce a question told Steve he wasn't fully focused on the things going on around him.

At least that was what he thought until he watched Caden correct Kahea about something she said to Tony and answer Bruce's question in the same breath, his head never missing a beat to the song coming from the radio.

If he ever had any doubt that this was Clint's son, which he didn't, this would be a defining moment for Steve. Clint seemed never able to just focus on one thing for long. Unless it was life threatening Clint's focus was worse then a dog's. Until you realized that it wasn't that Clint couldn't focus it's more like he was focusing on every thing at once.

Clint had the naturally ability to just take every thing in around him. His brain just processed information quicker then any one else Steve knew. A ability he shared with his son apparently. Father and son's eyes moved at the same pace. They shared more then eye color; taking a second to set their laser focus on a person or object before moving to the next. Besides focus, color, and being able to cut down a person with one glare they shared something else. Something Steve thought was much more important.

Each time either one set eyes on Kahea they would soften, a light seemed to glow each bright in _both_ sets of eye's. No matter how mad Clint was now Steve knew he had no intention of letting her slip through his fingers again.

-Clint's POV-

Looking around the table Clint realized how much Kahea's cooking was missed. No one else cooked. Pepper didn't cook, Darcy was only allowed around the toaster after the oven disaster of 2013, which was better then Jane who wasn't even allowed in the kitchen at all. That day didn't even need a title, it was common knowledge no one talked about.

The men couldn't even look at an appliance with out it catching fire.

No really, Thor set fire to the microwave after it burned his leftovers. He was so mad he actually struck it with a mini lighting bolt, setting it on fire.

Sure, Tony had the ability to get five star restaurants to deliver. If not delivery then chefs would just come to cook at the tower, but it wasn't the same. They hadn't had a _real_ family dinner since she left.

There was a time when breakfast meant the smell of coffee wafting through the air, mixing with the delicious smell of whatever she decided to make. _Everyone_ would wander into the room soon or later. Whether straight from bed still in clutching a pillow pet (Darcy), in yesterday's clothes with keyboard imprints decorating their faces (Bruce, Tony, Jane), towel drying their hair from a shower after a every early workout (Steve, Natasha), or showing up with wind blown hair and smelling like fresh air (Thor, Clint), they all showed up.

Unless a mission was concerned, breakfast was a family affair. Dinner was to easy to be busy at but breakfast was always early enough to be free. It was amazing how much they _missed_ it after she left. Some how the days never seemed _right_ with out them.

But here they all were. Bruce was on Clint's left, Caden on his right. Kahea was across from him, Tony sat next to her, and Steve sat at the end opposite to Caden.

As Clint bit into another piece of pancake he tried not to laugh. Caden was again wiggling his fork around, telling Tony off for talking with his mouth full. His kid didn't care how much money Tony had or where he had eaten before, Tony needed manners apparently. It was like getting breakfast and a show.

Then Clint made the mistake of reaching in front of Bruce for more orange juice.

"Mister Hawkeye! Didn't your mommy ever tell you not to reach!?"

Clint froze for a second. Eye's widening as he thought about his past for the first time since this all began. No, Clint _didn't_ have a mom, _didn't_ have a father, _didn't_ have a brother. He had memories he would rather die then _burden_ his son with. Memories that fucking clawed at his resolve to be a good father. Whispering words of dark insecurity, of the real reasons why Kahea really left with their son.

Caden's head tilted slightly as he noticed Clint's slip up. Eye's narrowed and his little fingers tapped his fork against the table. Clint set the orange juice down, trying to buy time before he had to answer. Mind suddenly stuck in reverse he struggled to come up with an appropriate answer.

How was he suppose to tell a four year old he just met, a damn four-year-old, who just happened to be his son, about his completely fucked up past?

"Caden you know how some times people have mommies or daddies who are not nice?" At Kahea's question Caden whipped his head around to nod to her question "Remember how we talked about how every family is different? Some in some not very _good_ ways?"

Caden's head slowly turned around back to Clint's face. As he listened to his mom Caden settled all his focus on Clint. Clint had a feeling that this was the look his teammates talked to him about. The gaze that seemed to see right through any defense he could set up. Reading Clint quickly and efficiently, Caden didn't even blink but continued to stare. It seemed as if Caden was not tearing through his soul as much as just walking through, eyes searching for the information Caden deemed necessary.

Well, this was a _shitty_ feeling.

He could see why his teammates didn't like it so much.

Clint shook off the urge to break off the contact. Caden was four, and his fucking _son_ for Christ sakes. He wasn't about to tremble at the hands of a toddler, mini Hawkeye or not.

"Well then," Caden finally said after Kahea had successfully explained with out saying anything significant, " You can just share my mommy. She is pretty cool even if she does make me eat evil stuff like spinach some times. My dad isn't around right now; mommy says he loves me though so I think when he comes around he wont mind to much. Ya know since he loves me so much and I like you lots already he will wantcha around to Mister Hawkeye."

Clint's heart _fucking_ stopped and this time it didn't surprise him one bit.

The walls were starting to close in on him. After everything that had happened the last few days this seemed to be the last straw before his tenuous hold on his nerves was gone. He had gotten barely any sleep since Kahea walked, ran, into his life. His mind had been to full with images of her carrying his mirror image away for him to shut his eyes. Even being in this house last night, with Kahea and Caden sleeping peacefully with in hearing range did _nothing_ to ease his thoughts.

Instead of crashing as the others did, he snuck into Caden's room to watch as he slept. Trying desperately to catalog every movement into his brain. He had missed too much and he would be damned if he missed another second. He didn't move again until his legs protested against the position he held against the wall. Instead of stretching he walked silently into the room across the hall. Eye's blinded for the first time to every thing around him.

He let his gaze mist over slightly as he studied the woman sleeping in front of him. His mind replaying every word she had said to him tonight. His heart screaming at him to lay down next to her, arms demanding to draw her into his space even as head warned him to walk away. He stayed exactly were he was, leaning against the open door frame until the morning light started to creep in. Light filtering through the windows and creating a glow around her. As if Mother Nature was erecting a shield around her, protecting him from the war inside his soul.

That war was starting to grow again. Caden's innocent offer had Clint leaving the table. His fork clattered against the plate as he let it drop from his useless fingers. Walking outside he put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath. He searched for the tallest tree in the yard, he needed height, needed to just be free for a bit. Clint hadn't felt this kind of panic attack since he was a small boy.

He used to climb trees to get away then too.

Eyes catching a ladder against an oak tree he scrambled for it. Passing the half-built tree house midway up he climbed off the ladder using branches until he wasn't sure the branches would hold his weight. He took another deep breath then, his chest moved as his lungs filled with air. Eyes closed he leaned his head against the tree, letting a leg hand over either side; his forced his mind to go blank.

-Kahea's POV-

As Kahea finished reassuring her child for the fifth time in just as many minutes that he didn't hurt Clint, she wished she could _ring_ the man's neck. She _knew_ this was all a lot for Clint, and that questions about his family were not typical breakfast starters but to run out like that on a four year old who hero-worshiped him?

That shit was _not_ going to fly.

Kahea wiped a couple tears away from her son's face and struggled not to let her anger show. Of course a part of her was afraid of how Clint was feeling but another, a _bigger_ side, was screaming this was the reason she kept Clint out of Caden's life in the first place.

Clint was not good with handling his emotions. If he couldn't karate chop or blow it up with some sort of arrow, he was no good with handling whatever he was going through. Not that he had to be Dr. Feelgood or anything but this was _not_ acceptable.

Her son was holding back _tears_ and _Clint_ was the reason.

Kahea sighed as she tried to look past the bitterness that seemed to cloud her judgment. Yes, Clint had handled that situation was extremely bad yet, from the bags under his eyes she could tell he had been without sleep for a while. Plus, finding out he had a kid was not a _small_ situation. Add to that all the feelings he has towards her at the moment and she is slightly surprised it took him this long to search for an escape.

Even with the small explosion last night Kahea was surprised at how well he was taking this. In the past whenever a hard or strong emotion would show up he tended to leave on missions. Missions like the one he left for the day after she told him she loved him.

She woke up the day after to an empty bed, not even a _note_ was left. She didn't even know he left for a mission until Thor had asked her if she wanted to have a family dinner since they all knew she got down whenever Clint had to go. That particular mission lasted for almost a month and he was so deep that any form of communication was non-existent.

Of course he walked through the door to her hotel room, she left the tower thinking that was his way of turning her down, dropped his bag and asked what she wanted for dinner. That lead to an hour long scream session (her), and stutters of uneasiness (him), until he finally admitted he loved her and could they please get dinner because he had, "Just gotten off the fucking aircraft and he hadn't eaten anything he could pronounce in over 20 damn days".

So with that thought in mind and a promise to get his favorite super hero back in the house so he could see Clint wasn't really mad at him she walked out back. Leaving her child if actual super powered hands she closed the door behind her.

Kahea _loved_ her back yard. It wasn't especially big but it did have a ton of trees. The trees were a mixture of oak, maple, and cottonwood circled the yard creating a clearing that fairies, or little boys with big imaginations, would have a fun time running around in. The grass was soft beneath her feet and she could hear the small brook behind her trees babble away. A hammock swayed lazily next to her and the strings from the twinkle lights were slightly visible.

Covering her eyes against the midmorning sun she walked towards the tallest tree in the area. Quietly making her towards the ladder she climbed up. Not even bothering to check to see if he was in this tree she settled herself on the ledge of the half made tree house. Caden had begged for one for the past year and after saving awhile she _finally_ made enough to pay some one to make a simple one. Pappy had offered but she wanted this to be just from her. A present given from mother to son.

Sighing she looked around. Branches woven together around her created a completely nature made roof. Sun fluttered through the leaves and a man sat above her. Neither moved to acknowledge the others presence but _knew_ he sensed her.

He always did seem to have a built antenna for her. The room could be the size of a _football_ field, filled with people yet; he was always able to tell when she came in or where she was.

They sat in silence for a bit, just listening to the breezes around them, squirrels chattering and birds talking to one another. Taking time just to be in the moment.

"You know, I almost came out here guns a-blazing. You made my little boy tear up."

"He isn't just yours, he is _ours_. I made _our_ little boy tear up."

Kahea nodded in acceptance to Clint's statement. Tensing a bit even as her heart beat a little bit faster in joy that he was still willing to be a father.

"Well, you made _our_ little boy tear up. I can't even begin to understand how you must feel right now but Clint; you can't just walk out on the boy when those emotions get tough. There are going to be some very _hard_ times and even _harder_ questions ahead when all you want to do is run, but you can't. He will be counting on us to be strong, on _you_ to be strong. I know it might be unfair but you're the super hero honey. Don't let a handsome kid and a murky past chase you away."

Kahea hadn't looked up at Clint yet; instead she had taken a leaf and started breaking it apart. Focused on her tasked of making the tears even she startled a bit when Clint's voice came from next to her instead of from above.

"You're right, you _can't_ imagine how I am feeling right now. _I am_ not even sure what I am feeling right now. I mean, I know what I am feeling right now, I guess. It's just a lot of mixed of things and my head feels like it's going to explode ya know? I am sorry I made Caden cry." Clint's hands rubbed against his jeans. " I just, I can't talk about my parents right now. I _can't_ do that."

Kahea looked at Clint; surprised he had even gotten that far. She didn't know what to say. She knew they had to talk, knew they had to figure what step was next. She knew he had to figure out what was going on in his head, untangle everything he was fighting.

"I know we need to talk. I know you might not believe me but I really am glad you are _here_. I am _glad_ you finally get to meet him that he gets to meet you. You see I was kind of scared. Caden is so very _special_; in ways that I knew only _you would understand_. It's funny because, he doesn't have your back round but he has some of your mannerisms. The need for height, can't stand bullies, wants to help no matter what, so smart, focused, witty. He has the sarcasm of a Monty Python actor and I blame you."

Clint smirked, Kahea _missed_ that smirk.

-Clint's POV-

He let his feet swing a bit, his arms flexed and relaxed, they _itched_ to wrap themselves around her. That dry tone she used, where she faked annoyance, was one of his favorites. Anytime he was obnoxious, which was a lot, she used it on him. Thoughts of how her hands would be on her hips, feet apart, as she glared at him. There was always a slight twinkle in her eyes that gave her away; it grew whenever he threw her over his shoulder, laughter flowing out of her.

Shaking his head he let the memory fade. He knew that would _need _to be fixed to. He felt that they had to get all their issues on the table to make even the most _basic_ relationship work. So they would have to talk about Natasha and him, her leaving even if she didn't know she was pregnant at the time. Then there was the whole keeping him away from a kid he didn't even know _existed_. It wouldn't be fun hashing it out but it was _needed_. He didn't want to talk about what made her leave, didn't want to open those wounds up. They needed to talk about it _for_ Caden.

Right now wasn't the time though. There was a kid inside who needed them to say everything was okay, even if it wasn't.

Watching the wind blow through Kahea's hair he had a feeling it would be though. He already knew he wasn't letting either one go. Now though, now he knew he wouldn't stop till they were a family. He had no illusions about it being easy. They had _both_ hurt each other pretty bad and Kahea probably didn't trust a word he said.

It would _happen_ in time, in that moment he _knew_ it would.

It wasn't going to happen because of Caden either. They were going to be a family because the woman sitting next to him was _it_, there was _no one_ else. He had women who mattered to him before but this one, this one didn't just matter, Kahea was so much more.

Kahea was the _life,_ simple as that.


	12. Like the Feeling when You're Falling

**Hello my dear readers! I am so very again for such a late post (and a missing extra chapter) but since last week another family member was admitted into the hospital and my 13 year old cousin was diagnosed with a very life crippling sickness. I was also sick as well (I hate cold weather) and have been beyond busy at work for the holidays. I know even if these excuse are reasonable they are still excuse and ask you to bear with me until after Nov. 27th (aka the holiday anyone in the American food business will call the Worst Day Ever). I WILL UPDATE ON TIME NEXT WEEK. I also plan on adding two more one shots to the series (should I do two from Clint and Kahea's past or one from their past and one from Kahea's and Caden's?) Thank you so much for the reviews and adding me as a favorite and/or following my story! I am so glad you all seem to be enjoying it! So after the longest author note ever...**

**I DO NOT OWN THE AVENGERS OR THE TITLE/LYRICS RUNNING THROUGH THE STORY (that would be the very talented Tom Fletcher who wrote and sings "Something New"), I do own the plot line and character's from the plot line**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Like the Feeling When You're Falling, It's like Walking on the Sky<strong>

-Clint's POV-

Clint was sitting on one of the ceiling beams next to Caden, who was trying to smother giggles beneath his palm. They were playing sardines. So far only Caden had found Hawkeye. Steve was looking for them in Kahea's room and Tony was searching outside. He knew though, they were just giving him time to relax with his son. After everything that happened this morning, Clint was trying twice as hard to connect with Caden.

Clint had walked back into a quiet scene this morning. Caden was sitting in his chair, his fork pushing his pancakes side to side. At the sound of the door sliding open he looked up with a slightly trembling lip. The guilt Clint felt multiplied _ten fold_. He spent the rest of breakfast reassuring his son that he hadn't done anything wrong. Clint tried to convince him that it was bad memories, not careless word that made Clint rush out.

It wasn't until Steve offered to play a game that Caden finally shook off his melancholy. Smiling for the first time since the event when Clint didn't hesitate to join in.

"Ya know Mister Hawkeye, mom _never_ lets me up here. It's one of the _MOST_ important of her rules."

Clint smirked at Caden's "inside voice", like a true four-year old the boy didn't know how to whisper. The smile on Steve's face supported his thoughts. Any one could have heard the small boy, especially a beyond enhanced super soldier.

"Well, that is why we waited for your mom to leave to play. She knows I would _never_ let you get hurt. Anyway, I thought she said something about you being a Hawkeye in training and Hawkeye's have to be able to deal with heights. You aren't scared are you?" Clint's eye's sparkled with mischief as the small boy immediately narrowed his eyes. Any thoughts of getting into trouble where forgotten at the man's silent dare.

Kahea had left to go get food for tonight since the Avengers had _literally_ eaten everything. Bruce had also left, Kahea dropping him off at their hotel on her way to the food store. He claimed he needed time to meditate. Having been put in a very stressful situation Clint was surprised he had lasted as long as he did. Bruce had made amazing progress in controlling and understanding Hulk but he had a long way to go till his control would be perfect.

Clint was glad Bruce was taking time away and was even happier that Kahea had trusted him enough to leave him with Caden.

"Clint, I don't want to throw you right into this and honestly I am a little scared that I will come home and no one will be here," putting her hand up at the sound of his protest she continued to talk. "You have to understand he is my _world_ and even if I know that you _should_ be a part of his it is still hard. A part of me is seriously screaming not to walk out this door but I am trusting you. Do not screw this up Hawkeye."

After a ten-minute lecture to the men about what Caden was not allowed to do and another five-minute goodbye to her son, she finally walked out the door. Looking back over her shoulder, she hesitated to get in her car. It wasn't until Caden walked over and pushed her in that she finally left.

Now they were sitting above the others with their feet swaying. Clint had the boy on his lap, an arm wrapped around Caden's waist just in case. Talking quietly Clint was having trouble believing this small person _belonged_ to him. It was hard to get it through his head that he was now responsible for another human being. Some one that had thoughts, individual opinions, and would grow up to become a man with his own responsibilities. All the pressure to help mold Caden into the best man he could be was a weight, but not an entirely unwelcomed one.

Clint had never thought of having his own children until Kahea walked into his life; the thought leaving with her as well. Apparently though, she had left with more then a thought.

-Tony's POV-

Tony smirked as he leaned against the door jam. Caden's head was just visible over Clint's shoulder and the picture they made was a bittersweet one. His own father had been much less, well just much less, of a father then Clint already was. Tony knew that out of everyone in the group, he probably had the best fatherly example but _no one's_ childhood had been Hallmark worthy.

Okay so he was rich, he had a pretty awesome IQ, and yeah, his mother was doting but that didn't take away the sting of a dad who never thought he was good enough. He watched as Clint carefully moved his other arm to hold the child still when Caden tried to turn around in his arms.

Caden was definitely a mover and Tony _loved_ that about him. The kid had a spark that seemed to light up the room. Caden seemed to just _pull_ people towards him. Though he never commanded to be the center of attention, and didn't seem to care either way, people couldn't help but surround the boy. That opinion may be biases though.

He imagined Clint would be a lot like that until Clint's dad beat it out of him.

He could almost see Clint as an energetic toddler, running around and causing all kind of trouble. Little feet patting away as he scaled the couch just to jump onto the TV.

Moving a bit to keep his foot from falling asleep Tony felt a cloud of sadness pass through him at the thoughts of the man losing the spark that was so obviously in his son.

He made another silent promise to protect the kid as long as he could. Caden deserved something none of the other Avengers had, a _childhood_. He knew he couldn't shield mini Hawkeye forever, or even for that long, but he knew he would do it for as long as he could.

Caden had already had to deal with some stuff no one his age should ever have to, but they were here now. Caden would never have to deal with daddy issues again, well at least until he was a teenager, and that was normal. Money issues where definitely a thing of the past. Tony was actually excited to introduce Caden to the rest of the group back at the tower.

Well, he was until he had the slightly paralyzing thought that they wouldn't be going back with the rest of them. She wouldn't do that though.

_Right?_

The hurt he felt flowing through his veins at that thought shocked him. Tony logically decided that it was reasonable to want Kahea to stay in their lives. She was a big part of them before and he wasn't surprised to want her back. It was the feelings this mini Hawkeye was eliciting that really took him for a spin.

Tony was notorious for not letting many people into his private life and even less into his heart. In fact the number of people he considered family or loved ones could be counted on one hand, and one of those was a butler A.I.

Pepper was the only one he had ever said, "I love you" to out loud and that was after several years of dating, decades of a deep friendship and partnership. Tony was not good at letting people in, yet this boy was hardly breaking a sweat as he scaled the walls Tony put up around his heart.

He was afraid how fast his _own_ kids would be able to wrap him around their tiny fingers.

Where the _fuck_ had that little thought come from?

A shiver went down his spine as he moved from the doorframe before Caden could spy him standing still. All this thinking needed to stop anyway and what better distraction then irritating the brand new father.

Walking towards the pair Tony furthered the thought from his mind. He was shaken, that was it. This was a new situation to them and his mind was just processing it. The fact that it was processing it in such a very disturbing way as thinking of his _own_ future as a _father_, meant nothing. It was just one of many theories Caden's presences had incurred. Just something new.

He really hoped they were ready for something new.

-Clint's POV-

A song goes off in the back round and Caden calls the game to a halt so he can run to the phone in the kitchen and call his mom. It was a few heart racking beats before Clint was able to get Caden calmed down enough to climb down the ladder holding him. His eyes lit with confusion as he watched his son run to the phone and turn up the radio at the same time.

"Mom my song is on."

Holding the phone close to the radio for a few seconds as if to reassure the woman he wasn't lying he then settled on the kitchen floor and held the phone back to his ear. His eyes caught Clint's and his small hand motioned for him to come over. Obeying Caden he waiting till Caden patted the floor next to him before lying down next to him.

Instead of lying on his back like the boy Clint turned to his side, a hand under his cheek and waited on what he should do next. It wasn't until Caden scooted over and held the phone between them that Clint finally remembered Caden's comment this morning.

**"Just another movie where they saved the world,**

**And every roller coaster does a loopy-de-loop, **

**I guess I'm ready for something new"**

Kahea's voice came through the phone crystal clear. Even though she was in public somewhere as soon as their son played the music she sang along right away. It was obvious the song meant something to them and Caden was offering for Clint to be part of it.

The promise from this morning of sharing Kahea echoed in Clint's head and heart. He couldn't keep his hand from brushing the hair out of Caden's eyes, smiling as he saw the complete _openness_ in them. For the mistakes Kahea had made by keeping Cade away from him, Clint couldn't fault her ability to be a loving and amazing mother.

Everything she did was _for_ her son, from the decision to stay away from Clint to the decision to let him back in, she didn't think about herself much. It was _all_ for this boy. The love she freely gave to Caden was now the same love Caden was freely giving him.

Lying on the floor with Caden, Clint was overwhelmed with how much the amazing boy had already effected him. A person he had just met was already wiggling his into Clint's heart. Caden might be a lot like his father, but the compassion he showed others was all Kahea.

The ability to encompass every good thing that had ever happened to Clint was also a Kahea James trait. It seemed like the sunshine through them, warming him from the inside out.

-Steve's POV-

Steve wondered if he would ever get a song of his own. If one day, _he_ would have a son to lie on the floor with. He wondered if Clint even realized how much they glowed, framed in the light shining through the kitchen door. Yet, it was more then that, it was the _pair_. Watching father and son share something so _openly_ emotional was like looking straight at the sun.

As a child, Steve was always looking towards the sky. Staring as long as he could at the bright white ball. Steve always thought the sun was hope that he could actually see. Something so pure that it couldn't be anything _but _made out of love, hopes, and dreams.

As long as he knew the sun would shine; no matter how cold, lost, dark, forgotten, or useless he felt, a part of him would always hope. He would spend whole afternoons trying to stare at it longer and longer as the children around him played.

A family, like the sun, was something for him to look at with hope yet never actually _touch_. It was there for him to watch but never to grasp. As a poor boy with no father, a teenager who was always the runt, sickly, and weak, who would want him?

Then he became a science project. He was tall, strong, capable, but completely alone.

But then she showed up, _Peggy_. For a bit there it seemed like he would finally grasp a bit of sunshine for himself. The warmth and strength that poured out of her shone like a tangible shield, one she let him in. He was truly _warm_ for the first time. From the tips of his toes all the way to the top of his head, he was warm. He didn't dream of picket fences per say, more like rolling hills and a small stream for children with her eyes, and his smile.

He _forgot_ though, he forgot that the sun was just a very hot ball of fire.

He forgot that all fires could be extinguished if the _ice_ was cold enough. So now it wasn't he was to weak or even to strong, it was his _soul_ that didn't belong. It was that _he_ was out of place; physically perfect it was his soul that kept him slightly cold.

Watching Clint with Caden was like getting to close to the sun again. He couldn't stand to long lest he be blinded by the light or burnt by the heat. But just as when he was a child, Steve's eyes never strayed. He watched and _ached_ and smiled.

Caden was a gift, a gift to all of them. Steve was never sure if he would ever get his own chance to walk through the flames. His brother-in-arms would though, that was enough for Steve. Caden was Clint's chance at something bigger. He was their chance at doing something _better_ then anything else the Avengers could do.

Caden was a better chance at securing a _greater_ future. There would always be a bad guy, always be an evil entity waiting in the wings. That child though, he was a _real_ chance at passing along all the good, all the _hope_, that worked so hard to save in the first place.

So Steve took a seat on the floor against the counter, folding up that small space of loneliness until it was barely a glimmer. He let the love he saw from the boy pour over him. He let the care he saw in Clint warm him. Steve sat on the floor and listened to the song.

For the first time, well the first time since before he could really remember really, Steve _relaxed_.

Steve relaxed, letting his body decompress. Today would be a good day. Today would be a day to get him through the days where the sun wasn't shining and the dark seemed to be closing in on him.

Today was something new.

-Clint's POV-

The song came to an end to fast for Clint's taste. It was the first private moment he had with his son and he could see why Kahea was worried about missing them. He felt his lips stretch into a small smile. Hand playing with Caden's hair still he felt a as if everything was a little bit softer.

The sun still shined, the floor was still made of wood, the air still cool but some how everything was softer. It was as if the boy beside him had the power to change matter in the blink of an eye, letting the actual molecules relax.

"Mom will we get a song for Hawkeye to?"

Caden's ability to make situations deeper and more awkward in les then five seconds was also impressive. Clint's first reaction was to say they already had a song. He had sung it to her not to long before their break up, or a cover of it at least. It was a song that had begun their relationship and during big moments became their anthem. It had been a perfect song for them.

"Well we will have to listen really well for one won't we? Maybe find a song for all the team so they don't feel left out?"

Well that _stung_ a bit.

Had she really forgotten their song or was it just to painful to remember? Would it be selfish for him to not want the guys to get their own songs? Was is bad that he want Kahea only singing for him and Caden?

He wasn't sure he _wanted_ to hear the answer to those questions.

"Okay but you will only sing to me right? Well me and maybe Hawkeye since he don't got a mom or anything."

Caden smiled at Clint, his hand moving to hold the larger version of his own. As if reassuring him it was okay. That just because he had grown up with out a mother didn't mean there wasn't one out there for him. Winking at Clint when Kahea agreed, Kahea who had only a paused momentary before agreeing with Caden.

Clint felt like the Grinch, his heart growing three times bigger.

He wondered if Caden liked the Grinch, it was one thing from his childhood that liked. Every Christmas he watched the cartoon and read the book, it was just habit now. One he could now share with his own family, pass it down.

"Hey Caden how did you get the scar on your thumb?"

Clint's own thumb had brushed against Caden's after the kid had hung up the phone. Embarrassment covered the boy's face, as he made no move to get off the floor.

"Ummmmm…well….uhhhhh…." Pink cheeked Caden's eyes where looking everywhere except his father.

"Okay here is the thing. I _might_ have not been listening to my mom or teacher and I _might_ have tried to use this really cool looking arrow when I shouldn't have and I _might_ have actually shot it but I _might_ have not been able to get it out of the target so I _might_ have been a little bit in not wanting to wait mood and get caught so I _might_ have tried to pull it out with my hands and I _might_ have gotten it out but I _might_ have almost cut off the top of my finger."

Eyes that were on the ceiling shot back down to his. Narrowed and slightly glaring, Caden looked as if he didn't agree with he was about to say next.

"Though I think my finger was always going to be alright. I think she might have said that to scare me a bit."

Clint smiled again at Caden's reaction. The scar on his thumb was pretty long and far down his finger so it was quite possible that Caden could have lost the top of it. Not that Clint was going to admit that he agreed with Kahea.

_Obviously_ Caden needed an ally for this issue and Clint had no problem being one.

As Steve and Tony joined them Caden jumped up and offered to move the couches and seats in the TV room around to wrestle for a bit. Apparently that's what Pappy and him would do when he got the wiggles. Clint had found out the wiggles was when Caden's ADHD kicked in a bit harder then usual from Kahea before she left. So they pushed the couch over and the war began.

Armed with Nerf guns and pillows that became shields the boys were running, jumping, flipping, through the house. Clint couldn't remember the last time a day was so just _fun_. Tony was dying in true Iron man fashion, dramatic and drawn out. So of _course_ Caden was on the floor laughing.

Clint had heard so many laughs in his lifetime. Some were soft, some loud, some crazy, some musical, others sounded like a braying donkey, some fake, and some genuine, some sad, others the result of that last rush of adrenalin, but none like his son's. Only Kahea's would be able to match the intense want to laugh back. It was as if they both just had the _magic_ to turn Clint's day around with one giggle.

It was hard to believe that one small laugh could cause Clint to feel so much. At first that scared the _shit_ out of him but now he reveled in it. Knowing how easy it could leave his life Clint had found a new appreciation for having some one who could affect him so. People in his life who had come to mean too much to him that their happiness meant more then his.

So _maybe_ he was going to have a small emotional break down or two along the way. _Maybe_ he would have days and nights when his flight instinct tried to kick in. He wouldn't run. He would fuck up; multiply times, though the same way as before Kahea left. Oh he would fuck up, royally, but it was things like that _laugh_ that would keep him there.

_Guessing_ he might be ready, _thinking_ he might be ready, _hoping_ he was ready for something new.


End file.
